On move-in day to Stanford, I plopped a bed set, Nutribullet and hot water heater on my floor. I remembered to register my bike, sign-up for classes and do the whole adjusting-to-college thing throughout the chaos that is NSO. Yet I forgot one important thing: to decorate my dorm room wall. Now, I’m not saying…
While this isn’t my grandmother’s original recipe, I’ve tested this recipe countless times, making modifications here and there over the years and seeing what works.
SATIRE: Instead of choosing between Math 51 and CS 106A, frosh now have to decide by the end of Week 5 on Axess which friends will just be “NSO friends,” and which they will put in the effort to make plans with for the rest of their time at Stanford.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the epoch of FraTwainity, it was the epoch of the Choo Choo Twain, an age of enlightenment, an age of incessant Frosh blues, it was a fountain of beer, it was the fall quarter of despair, everything ahead of us and…
At the end of my freshman year, I could not have been more eager to leave my dorm. There’d been moments throughout fall and winter quarter when I felt myself already dreading the day I’d have to take the gold lights down and leave my room barren. By spring, though, this sentiment was long gone. …
SATIRE: In a recent bout of confusion, hordes of freshman turned up to the Education as Self-Fashioning (ESF) Plenary under the impression that Enchanted Broccoli Forest (EBF) was hosting a slightly-earlier-than-the-weekend rager 9:30 am at the CEMEX auditorium.
At New Student Orientation, all incoming frosh and transfers experience Beyond Sex Ed: Consent and Sexuality, promising to be “a transformative experience for incoming first-year undergraduates at Stanford, which features personal stories from current students, supported by a framework for thinking about sexuality interpersonally and culturally.” I, however, found the experience to be truly horrifying.…
SATIRE: SCR has expressed concern that Shapiro may not be controversial enough to get the anarchical response they are looking for. Dinesh D’Souza came close last year, but all we got out of that was a stink bomb.
