So you made it to Stanford, huh? Eighteen long years of work have finally culminated in your arrival at this little slice of heaven. I was in your shoes just three years ago, but it seems like a lifetime since then.

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May 23 must be a day connected with loss in my life. Just a year ago, I gathered with a group in Yost to watch the final episode of “Lost,” arguably the greatest television series of all time. And it was also the day that I finished writing this final edition of “This Column Is Ironic.”

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On Wednesday morning, I woke up here in Oxford to a Facebook feed filled with friends excitedly discussing their housing assignments for next year. Super thrilling, right? With time differences, I had figured I probably wouldn’t see my housing assignment until Wednesday night -- at best. Thank God for technical glitches from the Housing department.

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Everybody lied to me, guys. For years, I had heard about how going abroad was supposed to be an easy GPA boost, no work and partying every night. Problem is, I’m here in Oxford and I’ve probably done more work in four weeks than a usual quarter back on the Farm. A wise, wise man once wrote, “Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.” I think that certainly holds true in this case.

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Wolfram Alpha tells me that I’m currently 3,457 miles from my home in Scranton, Pennsylvania and that I’m 5,335 miles from that glorious Farm that you all inhabit right now. Needless to say, I should be living the Oxford life. And in a way, I definitely am. I think I had a pretty quintessential English weekend -- or at least I tried to.

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When people ask me why I wanted to study abroad in Oxford, I can give them a variety of reasons -- namely, the incredible academics, the perfect setting and the multitude of extracurricular opportunities here. Or maybe because Oxford was founded in 1167, making it something like seven times older than good ol’ Stanny U. Or maybe it’s the fantastic architecture and incredible scenery. Obviously, I came here for all those things, but that’s not really why I came here. Stanford likes to tout the academics of its study abroad programs and whatnot (especially Oxford), but forget that. Those aspects aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things.

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Spring break is finally over for me, guys! Yesterday was my return to the humdrum life of class. Granted, my class was on British rock music and I’m in Oxford, so I think things are pretty good. (Let’s talk next week when I have to read three books and write a paper for my tutorial, okay?) Plus, the weather in Oxford this week is warmer than at Stanford. I need to enjoy this while I can. I kind of think this first week is something like vacation for me. I need it. Even with jaunts to Denmark and a lot of Netflix in my life, my extended break was pretty stressful. You see, April of my junior year has rolled around and I still don’t have a great job for the summer.

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Will this spring break never end? I never thought I’d say it, but I might be ready to write papers again. I’m told I’ll be doing plenty of that in Oxford. I can only take so many days of lounging around and catching up on 30 Rock on Netflix before the days start to blur together. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the ability to jet off to Europe this weekend to stave off boredom. However, I had something even better than excessive travel to keep me busy: the Masters.

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While you guys are wrapping up week two of the quarter, my everlasting pre-Oxford spring break continues. Needless to say, four straight weeks in Scranton might get a little soul-crushing, so I did what any sane person would do: I took a trip to Europe for the weekend.

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On Tuesday, I spent the day in New York City. Being in Manhattan again reminded me of an argument that I often have with friends on campus. I’ll warn you, if your home state borders the Pacific Ocean, you’re probably not going to like what I have to say.

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This is the last edition of “This Column Is Ironic” you’ll read that was written on the Farm. Scary, isn’t it? Sadly, my ever-prolific course load of political science papers precludes me from barraging you with wit during our Dead Week issue. (I promise you, political science actually requires me to do some work.) When The Daily resumes in spring quarter, I won’t be here. Instead, I’ll be living it up at home in Scranton, Pennsylvania for a few weeks until I begin my quarter abroad. That’s right, guys: I’m going to Oxford, and you’re coming with me.

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Ah, yes, the time each year when our beautiful little Stanford bubble gets popped for a few days so our parents can experience the fun and relaxation of The Farm. Stanford organizes a bunch of cutesy events for our parents to attend and finishes the whole grand gesture by making sure to ask them for even more money. You know, on top of the $55,000 they already pay annually to send us here.

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Text from a good friend of mine on Monday afternoon: “So did you wet yourself when Arcade Fire won last night?” My response: “The Grammys are so mainstream, dude.”

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That time of the quarter we all dread is in full swing again: midterm season. Instead of being allowed to enjoy our privileged lives, professors are actually forcing us to do work. I don’t know about you, but I’m staring down a slew of papers and exams right now. (Can someone please tell Econ 1B that scheduling exams two weeks apart is just sadistic?) Luckily, I’m here to offer you a variety of options to help you to survive this latest round of midterms.

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You know from my column a few weeks ago that I love Twitter. If that wasn’t enough to make you join, I thought I’d use this space to tell you about one of my favorite new Twitter feeds. It’s the account of Rahm Emanuel (@MayorEmanuel), former Chief of Staff to Barack Obama, current Chicago mayoral…

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I’ve been in a long-term relationship for a while now. It hasn’t been going well recently. Honestly, it’s on the verge of abusive for me. I know that all relationships have their ups and downs, but this one is really getting tough.

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With Volume 238 of The Daily coming to a close, I thought I would finally get a little bit introspective. Over my past 11 columns, I’ve tried to make you laugh. Hopefully, I succeeded. If I ever slightly offended you, then I think I did my job, too...

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I often can’t believe that people think using Twitter has some social stigma attached. Look, if it’s good enough to be a source of breaking world news and facilitate political revolutions in Iran, Moldova and Tunisia, I think it’s good enough for all of us, okay?

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I’m all for promoting someone from within the existing Stanford coaching structure, but that’s thinking too small. There are plenty of other people on campus who have the potential to be the next head coach of the Stanford Cardinal...

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This relationship has been going on for almost four months now, so I feel like there’s a lot you need to know about me before we can take things to the next level between us. So grab a bag of Doritos and some ice cream and read on...

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Where exactly am I heading home to for Thanksgiving, you ask? It’s kind of a touchy subject because when I tell you, you’re invariably going to respond with the exact thing I don’t want to hear...

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On Monday night, I found myself in Cubberley Auditorium with 400 of my closest friends to see George Clooney up close and personal. All of the ladies around me gabbed about his chiseled features and his perfect body. I have to admit: there wasn’t a hair out of place...

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I’ve had a revelation over these past few months: I think I’m getting old. I’m not quite sure when I started to figure this out. Maybe it was this summer when I wore a shirt and tie to work every day...

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Good job, everyone! We made it. Another Reunion Homecoming Weekend down. We all woke up Monday morning to a campus commute hampered only by the usual limb-mangling bike accidents...

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