To commemorate the second season premiere of “The Walking Dead” on AMC last Sunday, the cast selected their choice zombie-slaying tools at New York Comic-Con. We here at Intermission aren’t sure if we’re ready to live a life of secluded Twinkie-eating and cockroach-befriending quite yet, but just in case that darned zombie apocalypse pops up anytime soon, here’s how we’d deal with those undead suckers.
We’re fairly certain we’ve never seen a George A. Romero flick with fire-retardant zombies, so this is a pretty safe bet. Throw in some sort of technological innovation to keep the flame going and it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Yes, Intermission’s a little bit of a “Lord of the Rings” fan (ok, make that an überdork), but if somehow we got hold of an Elven sword like Sting–the immediate choice might be Andúril, but let’s remember that the reforged sword was Dwarven-made, which means no glow (ok, ok we’ll stop now)–programmed to glow blue in the presence of zombies instead of Orcs, we’ve have a deadly weapon plus a built-in alarm system. (Take that, Sword of Gryffindor!)
You can effortlessly crush those nasty undead folk while remaining out of their grasp from your high perch. This is what we call a win-win.
Indestructible bubble suit
Think apocalyptic “Bubble Boy.” Similar to the bulldozer, you could roll over any zombies in your way while remaining safe and sanitary inside of your hyperbaric chamber. Just make sure you include an escape sleeve somewhere so you can reach out and grab another Twinkie or can of Spam when you get hungry after all that zombie-squashing.
Sturdy and traditional, it worked for a vigilante hobo as well as the cast of “Zombieland.” Simple, classy and effective.