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‘The Bachelor,’ Week 6: Radical romance or contrived comedy?

Colton preps for his Youtube career as he shirtlessly vlogs on the beach in Vietnam. The ladies arrive, fresh-faced, to create every videographer’s dream moment: women screaming, “Good morning, Vietnam!” while gracefully crowding on a balcony. Colton and Hannah G. get sexy massages together, each wrapped in large leaves. Colton lovingly refers to the Insta…

39 spicy titles for my memoir or yours

Constructing the memoir of your life can be a truly grueling process. The most crucial element to consider, of course, is the enticing title. The stakes are incredibly high  — with the wrong label, your entire life could be inaccurately represented. For widespread applicability, I have laid out options for some niche lifestyles. For the…

Make sleep sexy again

To my long lost lover: Though I’ve foolishly replaced you with Stern Dining cappuccinos and Market at Munger energy drinks, I still love you like a love song baby. Romeo and Juliet, Chuck and Blair or even the infamous Jack and Rose of “Titanic” cannot hold a candle to our forbidden love. Let’s talk about…

On being ‘unsuc-sex-ful’

Surely bountiful romance and employment opportunities came in a neatly packaged bundle with our acceptance letters. Isn’t the true objective of institutionalized higher learning to meet our soulmates and prepare for a monotonous career full of shameless brags about our prestigious degrees? But as the hint of crisp fall leaves die and we begin to…