SATIRE: Due to quarantine, vegans like myself have been finding it exceedingly difficult to adhere to the culture that comes with our lifestyle: being stuck inside makes it nearly impossible to tell everyone that we are vegan. It tears me apart inside to think about the fact that my new neighbor Randy won’t know that I’m vegan for another few months. My friends call me every day, asking me if I am still vegan, because I haven’t mentioned it in a while. However, I have done some thinking to see whether this issue can be overcome, and I have hit upon a list of solutions. Here are nine socially-distanced ways to obnoxiously tell everyone that you are vegan.
“The Umbrella Academy” is a science fiction fantasy show about seven siblings (Luther, Allison, Diego, Klaus, Five, Ben and Vanya Hargreeves) born with supernatural abilities coming together to prevent the apocalypse. At the end of the first season, the Hargreeves siblings escaped a burning world by jumping back in time. The show’s second season, released on July 31, follows this extraordinary family as they dodge murder attempts and encounter prevalent societal issues, ultimately having to reunite in an unfamiliar world and come together to save it from a disaster they would eventually cause.
“Indian Matchmaking” follows the various clients of matchmaker Sima Taparia, or “Sima from Mumbai” as she frequently refers to herself, in their journeys to find life partners. Each episode opens with an already married couple speaking about the love and happiness they have found: a testament to the success of arranged marriages. Then the clients are introduced and the matchmaking begins.
Every summer for the past few years, I have been a proud member of the knit and crochet club at my local library. We would have meetings every Friday afternoon to work on projects and show each other what we are doing. It was always the highlight of my week. After quarantine started, though, the library closed and the meetings stopped. I haven’t had much of an excuse to knit or crochet in the past few months — that is, until I found a sweater that had taken over as a “quarantine craft” on social media.
In what shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, this summer has been pretty awful. Everyone I know is saying the same thing: I wish this were over — this is the worst summer of my life. Hearing this made me wonder whether I, with my track record of terrible summers, could possibly say the same.
With temperatures hitting record highs in California, Florida and Arizona, members of ICE, more colloquially known as “Immigrants Can’t Exist”, have found it increasingly difficult to gratuitously arrest and deport international students and workers — much like their water-based namesake, their bodies have been turning into liquid when exposed to heat.
Since we’ve all been stuck in our homes for the past few months, we’ve become very well acquainted with our snack drawers and refrigerators. Popping in for a quick handful of chips after class has become a routine for me. But now, as the weeks drag on, I find myself looking for something a little healthier to brighten up my snacking habits. Without further ado, here are my top 10 favorite vegan snacks!
Chamber groups and orchestras, both amateur and professional, tend to be dominated by white musicians, according to the League of American Orchestras. It is often difficult to find a truly representative classical music group, one that includes members of the Black and Latinx communities, and this is something that the Sphinx Organization is aiming to change.
“Mannequinning,” as students like to call it, is a new way of skipping class. It involves dressing a full size mannequin in day clothes and having it attend all virtual lessons. The trend began in late March, and since then, virtual classrooms have looked more like the back rooms of department stores.