Widgets Magazine
50 thoughts you have while packing up your dorm room
Moving out can be just as tedious, if not more so, than moving in. (EMILY SCHMIDT/The Stanford Daily)

50 thoughts you have while packing up your dorm room

With less than two weeks left in the quarter, I’ve started preparing for the process of packing up. It makes me anxious just thinking about it because I’m from the East Coast. I have to be very strategic about what I put into storage and what I bring home for the summer. The extra organization requires more planning and list-making than I can handle during Week 10/Dead Week/Finals Week. (Why is this combination even legal in the quarter system?) I imagine my thought process (and many others) during packing as something like this:

  1. *Takes several deep breaths while scanning an actual disaster area*
  2. Okay, if I break the job into smaller steps, it’ll be manageable.
  3. Where did I put the box for the printer?
  4. Where did I put the box for the fridge?
  5. Where did I put the box for the microwave?
  6. Did I throw away all the boxes?
  7. Damn it.  
  8. I didn’t know I had a box of Pop-Tarts in my desk drawer.
  9. *Sings the Clean Up Song way too loudly*
  10. Too much stuff, not enough space.
  11. I definitely need Space Bags next year.
  12. These Command Strips better not take the paint off.
  13. Shoot.
  14. Maybe I’ll just be a nice person and leave the hook on the wall.
  15. Why did I keep all of my problem sets?
  16. I wonder if the Lake Lag fire pit is being used right now.
  17. I’m working so hard.
  18. Mom would be proud of me.
  19. I deserve a snack break.
  20. *Binge watches Netflix for two hours*
  21. Maybe I should get back to packing.
  22. *Folds one blanket*
  23. That’s good.
  24. Mmmm, actually I should pack because I have to be out by tomorrow.
  25. I feel like I’m in a Febreeze commercial hiding the scent of the fridge.
  26. I just don’t understand how all of my socks went missing.
  27. *Looks at pictures on wall*
  28. Where did all of these people who claim to like me come from?
  29. I’m so popular.
  30. If I’m so popular, why are none of the people helping me pack?
  31. I should call someone.
  32. On second thought, they won’t know where I want my stuff.
  33. I think I’m almost done anyway.
  34. I could be a professional packer.
  35. I mean, there are professional organizers, so I should get paid for this.
  36. What would the name of my packing business be?
  37. *Imitates The Thinker while staring at a pile of unfolded clothes*
  38. I’ve got nothing.
  39. How did I get into Stanford if I can’t even be remotely creative?
  40. It must’ve been the intellectual vitality essay.
  41. Being a freelance meme creator is no easy feat.
  42. Wait, what was I doing?
  43. Ugh, packing.
  44. This is a punishment.
  45. *Complains about packing for hours while packing*
  46. I’m done!!!!
  47. I’m sad now.
  48. Goodbye (insert house name and room number).
  49. *Reminisces about pulling all-nighters and having bomb pregames*
  50. HELLO SUMMER!!!!!!!!!

Contact Emily Schmidt with your own packing internal monologues at egs1997 ‘at’ stanford.edu.