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Alex Rodriguez named to Stanford baseball’s coaching staff

Currently suspended New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez accepted an offer to become an assistant coach for the Stanford baseball team on Monday. Despite his plans to return to play for the Yankees next season after his suspension ends, Rodriguez will coach for the Cardinal for the remainder of this season.

“I’m excited to be a part of such a great program,” said Rodriguez at his introductory press conference. “Obviously, I have zero collegiate experience but I think that I bring a unique understanding of the game of baseball and hopefully I can share my experiences with these young ball players.”

The Seattle Mariners drafted Rodriguez in 1993 straight from high school. Although he never played college baseball, he brings a career .299 batting average and 654 home runs to his role as an instructor for Stanford’s hitters.

“To be honest, I was a little jealous of Stanford coach Ryan Garko,” Rodriguez said. “If someone should be able to leave the majors and get a job as a hitting coach at such a young age, it should be me.”

The shocking move seemingly came out of left field, as Rodriguez really had no connections with Stanford. Rather than staying in New York to help some of the younger Yankees develop, Rodriguez bolted to the West Coast.

“Stanford prides itself on doing things the right way and that’s something I’ve really tried to do throughout my career,” said Rodriguez on why he chose to come to Stanford.

Rodriguez is suspended for the entirety of the 162-game regular season and the playoffs for “conduct detrimental to baseball.” He has admitted to steroid use at several different times in his career and received a suspension after his attempts to cover up more performance-enhancing drug use were revealed.

“There have been some dark times in my career,” he said. When asked about the Yankees opinions on his decision to come to Stanford, Rodriguez had no comment.

Contact Lennay Kekua at lkekua ‘at’ stanford.edu.

Editor’s note: This article was published as part of The Daily’s April Fool’s Day edition and is completely fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

About The Daily Sports Staff

The Daily Sports Staff is the collective moniker of an overworked, beleaguered, underpaid collection of sportswriters that feel comfortable enough with their own self-identities to give up any sense of individualism for the good of the sports section. To contact The Daily Sports Staff, send an email to dpark027 'at' stanford.edu to reach Do-Hyoung Park, keeper of the souls of those sportswriters.
  • Randy

    oh what a funny joke!!

  • RRico

    this MUST be a JOKE… why would this be allowed ???

  • Titan

    This is not the MLB dictatorship, dude.