Though the god Apollo has blessed us with the likes of Adele and Mumford & Sons, the musical world has seen its darker days. When clouds gather and Kanye starts to think he can sing or Taylor Swift performs live, there’s only one remedy to the noise — indulging in the classics. The following list of music videos, from classic rock to straight bizarre, runs the gambit from guilty pleasure to prime quality. Whatever your musical preference, no one can deny a boogying Christopher Walken.

 

“Africa” — Toto

Unverified fact: Stanford houses the piano used in this music video.

Toto’s saccharine tale of longing and nostalgia probably has little to do with most Stanford students, even those freshmen still condemned to harried, long-distance relationships. The song narrates the pining for “the rains down in Africa,” taken as literally or as sexually explicitly as the listener desires. Meanwhile, the video’s plot pairs shots of a researching safari man, an astute looking black woman and a miniature band performing on the cover of a book entitled “Africa.” Close-ups of a globe, specifically of Africa, remind us that Toto’s “Africa” not only provides us with a brilliant image of the ’80s take on international relations and otherness, but also makes us wonder if there actually is anything more to Africa than maps, primal masks and safari men — all included in this video. The jingle will not escape your mind and soon, you too will miss the rains.

 

“The Universal” — Blur

The entrancing violin that strings along through “The Universal” sets the tone for Blur’s most self-aware piece: unnerving calm. In a tribute to Stanley Kubrick’s rendition of “A Clockwork Orange”, the band casts itself as the droogs with Damon Albarn as its haunting leader. Albarn performs with a sense of drama and theatricality fit for any of Shakespeare’s fools. The modern setting, bedecked in cool whites, blues and scorching reds, contains miniature plotlines of its own. A seductive vamp peers from a crowd of men; the Red man and pedantic gawker converse while a priest and young man laugh. As discontentment brews outside, the plot thickens and ends with a silenced bang. “The Universal” will add in nicely to any cinephile’s or optimist’s collection.

 

“Weapon of Choice” — Fatboy Slim

Fatboy Slim’s “Weapon of Choice” flows like a dream, if the kind of dreams one has contain bounding and twirling Christopher Walken. Walken, dressed as a deflated businessman, ostensibly hears Fatboy Slim’s invigorating track and begins to prance and bop around a deserted hotel. The surprisingly agile actor taps on tables and sashays through corridors, fulfilling the adult version of “Home Alone.”

 

“Total Eclipse of the Heart” — Bonnie Tyler

This classic rock hit surfaces everywhere from the “Glee” ensemble’s cover to oldies radio stations, and it still hasn’t lost its cheesy ‘80s niche. The delicate crooning and melancholic piano create a sincere love ballad, jiving awkwardly with the visuals presented in this iconic work. Tyler’s memorable video does better without description, only faith in the wonders of ‘80s music video making and the desire to witness a pastiche of visuals set to classic rock. There’s a reason why it topped VH1’s list of “most cheesetastic” music videos.

 

And in case you’ve been riding the Grammy wave, check out Nicki Minaj’s latest foray into the crazy.

 

 “Stupid Hoe” — Nicki Minaj

Though VEVO quite readily brags that Nicki Minaj’s newest video “clocked 4.8 million views, the highest single-video VEVO number in 24 hours EVER!” the video plays like an epileptic nightmare of disjointed scenes over a track equally inane and garbled in the many personas of Nicki Minaj. Hype Williams, the mad hatter of the hip hop music video world, manages to match the audio energy with the frenetic editing, but the harmony ends there. Bizarre — albeit expected — shots of Minaj accompany superimposed star graphics fit for ‘90s computer games. A caged Minaj in cheetah accents interplays with shots of — you guessed it! — a caged cheetah, while another Minaj plays the innocent child with visual distortion reminiscent of Gaga’s “Bad Romance.” Minaj’s lyrics equal the music in quality and pace, especially with the last line, “I am the female Weezy.” The pronouncement comes not so much as a shock or incredible claim, but as a sad realization for the state of Young Money Entertainment. Here’s hoping Drake steps it up.