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Emily Hulme

Unfashionable Nonsense: Maleficent Chronology

It would not be wrong to say today, like any other day, like yesterday and tomorrow and June 20, 1789, is just a day and nothing more, in no way significant–in fact, simply and thoroughly an established 24-hour time period filled with birth, deaths, break-ups, make-ups, biology exams and cancer diagnoses, riddles and solutions, extraordinary…

Unfashionable Nonsense: How to Predict the Future and Alienate People

Contrary to popular belief, “spontaneity” is not fun. This belief, I think, mainly comes from romantic comedies; not only is it completely silly to consider parts of the most contrived plot lines known to mankind “spontaneous,” it defies common sense to think you would benefit from something you didn’t plan. Given the choice, we pick…

Unfashionable Nonsense: Et In Arcadia Ego.

Once upon a time (and a very good time it was) men were happy and free, hardly paid taxes and almost certainly never swore. If they did wish to curse another, their tongues would revolt and instead they would mutter such invectives as, “May my foe live into blessed old age” or, “Let him eat…

Unfashionable Nonsense: The Much Awaited Jersey Shore Column

Ovid’s number one rule of poetry is that the material must fit the meter.  Since this is a college paper in the Land of the Free, I took a little poll and direct democracy has prevailed in providing me a fitting topic, just in time for the forthcoming episode tonight: Jersey Shore. For those living…

Unfashionable Nonsense: Coming Soon to an Armchair Near You!

Another quarter down and another break is nearly upon us. During these breaks, I always set my sights upon the same goal and I must admit, I’ve never quite achieved it. Maybe some people catch up on sleep or read for pleasure, but I find neither of these diversions particularly alluring. Instead, I try to…
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