Chris Herries – The Stanford Daily https://stanforddaily.com Breaking news from the Farm since 1892 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 12:05:07 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 https://stanforddaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/cropped-DailyIcon-CardinalRed.png?w=32 Chris Herries – The Stanford Daily https://stanforddaily.com 32 32 204779320 Herries responds to Bloomberg piece https://stanforddaily.com/2014/08/25/herries-responds-to-bloomberg-piece/ https://stanforddaily.com/2014/08/25/herries-responds-to-bloomberg-piece/#comments Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:00:13 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1087633 Recently an article appeared in Bloomberg entitled “Hook-Up Culture at Harvard, Stanford Wanes Amid Assault Alarm.” The piece has since been edited to better, but not entirely, reflect my views. In the original, I was both quoted and paraphrased from an interview I had with the author. The interview request stemmed from two op-eds I […]

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Recently an article appeared in Bloomberg entitled “Hook-Up Culture at Harvard, Stanford Wanes Amid Assault Alarm.” The piece has since been edited to better, but not entirely, reflect my views. In the original, I was both quoted and paraphrased from an interview I had with the author. The interview request stemmed from two op-eds I wrote for The Stanford Daily between 2012 and 2013. I feel grossly misrepresented by the original Bloomberg article. The position I was assigned in the piece was, from my perspective, stitched together from different parts of the conversation I had with the reporter, without adequately including the earlier articles I had written. Those two articles can be found in The Daily’s archive. Their titles are “Victim Blaming Problem” and “Victim Blaming.”

In the latter, I came to the following conclusion about victim blaming: “I’m tempted to say that victim blaming is universally wrong, not only because it is an attempt to limit the freedom of the victim but also because it’s an attempt to take blame away from the perpetrator. In reality, only the perpetrator can prevent a crime from happening; crime is the criminal’s decision. We try to use victims as extenuating circumstances to lessen, or at least explain, an offense.” This quote better represents my view on the subject of victim blaming and are my own written words.

It’s clear from this that the author was incorrect to imply that I endorse victim blaming. While I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt and do not see any perfidy on his end, I do see a potential series of steps that created this miscommunication.

First, the quote of the bicycle. In an earlier piece, I state how victim blaming is a problem we see with all crimes, not just sexual assault. At no point did I compare women to bicycles, as I have been accused of doing. I simply made the jump to say that victim blaming is a pervasive problem in society for most crimes, which negatively affects the victims of those crimes as well. Understanding how ingrained victim blaming is in our culture can ultimately help us combat it.

My point, which I tried to convey in the interview, was that people often conflate an assumption of risk with an assumption of responsibility.

If I leave my bike unlocked, I have assumed a risk. I am by no means, however, responsible if it gets stolen. The criminal is responsible for the crime of theft. Likewise, if someone chooses to walk alone at night, there is, statistically, a greater risk of something bad happening than if the same person had walked in a group. However, the person is, in my view, not responsible for anything bad that happens, such as a theft or assault.

I came to this view during my time as a resident assistant. On the one hand, I wanted to offer my residents tips about partying safely. On the other hand, I did not want them to fall into a victim blaming trap for not taking those tips into consideration. Therefore, I told them to stay safe, i.e. not assume undue risk, with the caveat that blaming a victim is never acceptable. Crime is always the criminal’s fault. I know there are bad people out there, even at Stanford. My hope is that I will see a society in which I don’t have to offer safety tips to my residents, but that is not the society we live in presently.

The Bloomberg piece only captured the first part of my view, about not assuming undue risk. It did not highlight the caveat I offer, that responsibility never rests with the victim, but only with the perpetrator.

I want a culture that minimizes risk while still realizing that only a criminal is responsible for crime. By citing half of my opinion, the author represented me as someone who believes victims are responsible for their own safety. This sentiment is not true, and it is not mine. Some, for good reason, would say that offering safety tips is wrong in the first place, because it seems like victim blaming. That is an understandable view, but I care about the safety of my residents and friends. Therefore, I feel I can talk about safe behavior, while still reinforcing the idea that victim blaming is wrong. If the conversation is approached deftly, I do not think pro-safety and anti-victim-blaming views are mutually exclusive. In fact, I think it is practical. While that is a productive debate to have, it is separate from the misrepresentation of my views in the Bloomberg piece. Fortunately, my views on the subject have already been written down for everyone to see, and are on The Daily’s website. Those articles are my own words, and include nuances understandably absent from the Bloomberg piece.

Other articles have been written condemning me, but they merely responded to the Bloomberg article. My hope is that this column can illuminate my actual ideas so those authors can either edit their pieces or write new articles highlighting my views. What grieves me most about the misrepresentation I experienced in Bloomberg is not simply the defamation of my character, but the unfair portrait it painted of Stanford. Therefore, I hope this article makes the rounds in the Stanford community, so I can show where I truly stand, and further confront the issue.

 

Contact Chris Herries at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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In Defense of the West https://stanforddaily.com/2013/05/30/in-defense-of-the-west/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/05/30/in-defense-of-the-west/#comments Thu, 30 May 2013 17:19:31 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1077528 Yes, there are things wrong in today’s world that are a result of Western actions and ideas. At the same time, most of what’s right with the world is also Western.

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I’ve never written a follow-up to a column before, so bear with me. Last week I wrote about how Stanford should reinstate a History of Western Civilization core curriculum for all students. I envision it being four units per quarter for fall, winter and spring of freshman year, sufficient to construct a basic chronicle of Western history.

My argument is pretty simple. 1) We should have a core curriculum, though this is a different debate in and of itself. 2) That core curriculum should be a comprehensive survey of the most important formative ideas and histories in our society. 3) Therefore, as members of a Western society in an increasingly Westernized world, studying the history of the West is most beneficial.

Generally speaking, I got a good reception from the people I talked to about my column. I only received one email critiquing my view, which I replied to, while I received several supportive emails – even a couple from alumni from the 1930s who went through the program!

On the other hand, there was a lot of negativity in the online comments section. Very little of the criticism impugned my actual article and the three points listed above, but I’ll write a response about what I perceived to be the general tone.

The problem is, the centrality of Western culture offends the sensibilities of some people. Some people can’t handle the fact that history is a diamond with both beautiful and ugly facets. They hear “West” and immediately think imperialism, rather than thinking about medicine and liberal democracy. Citing human rights violations or UN conventions, they fail to realize that these ideas first cropped up and were debated in the Western world.

So yes, there are things wrong in today’s world that are a result of Western actions and ideas. At the same time, most of what’s right with the world is also Western – and that’s why people primarily immigrate to, and not from, Western and Westernized countries.

This duality is nothing short of reality. The West is a dynamic civilization; it’s where communism and capitalism, democracy and fascism, all fought their battles. To boil it down as absolutely good or absolutely evil denies the reality of this dynamism.

To prove the point, I’ll share one of the more misguided comments. After claiming the West has nothing to do with his civilization, the commenter said, “The ‘West’ is an outdated concept in the 21st century and a tradition that only imperialists and racists wish to continue. Absolutely nothing that happened in Germany or France or Switzerland 300 years ago is part of ‘my’ civilization.”

I’ll ignore that fact that the commenter essentially called me a racist. But, really? Nothing from the Enlightenment has anything, anything at all, to do with your civilization? The Scientific Revolution hasn’t advantaged you at all? Imperialism hasn’t shaped the country you live in? Time to grow up. Even if this commenter isn’t American, there isn’t a country on Earth untouched by the events in Europe 300 years ago, for good or for ill.

But it is exactly this level of willful, almost proud, ignorance that prompts me to advocate for courses in Western history. How can you possibly tackle the problems of today if you think that past has nothing to do with them?

There is a point I do need to clarify, as a friend of mine pointed out. His claim was that I made it seem as if other civilizations, and other histories, are devoid of value. It’s not that no other civilization is important; it’s that no other civilization is as important as the West in assessing the current state of our society and, frankly, the world. If we want a comprehensive survey relevant to modern society, then we should have courses in Western history. If we were a Chinese university, I imagine it would be most fruitful to study Asian civilizations. But we’re rooted firmly in the United States, a country formed of Western institutions, ideas and debates.

Naturally, cultural diffusion happens. Absorption, permeability, borrowing: all historical factors. Of course it’s important to study how the West influenced and was influenced by other groups – that’s part of studying Western history! But I’d still firmly argue that focusing primarily on ideas originating or formalized in the West would be most beneficial for Stanford students being turned out into the world.

If you take anything from this series, whether you agree with the argument or not, let it be this question. Are you happy with your education? Personally, I don’t think IHUM and Thinking Matters are the best we can do. I think Stanford students should walk out of here knowing the significance of the Magna Carta, Das Capital, The Wealth of Nations, Candide, The Republic, and more.

Not only should we be familiar with texts like these; we should also be aware of how they continue to inform debates today. Are you an “activist” who gets fired up over a series of statistics, or are you an educated individual familiar with the ideas that have crafted our society? Are you going to be a doctor with no knowledge outside the field of medicine, and therefore less able to comprehend how it interacts with society? Are you going to join the ranks of policymakers, economists or soldiers and be oblivious to our history? I hope you enter into our civilization with the ability to change it for the better. Part of that is learning the historical ideas at its very foundation.

Email Chris with your thoughts and comments at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Bring back Western Civ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/05/20/bring-back-western-civ/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/05/20/bring-back-western-civ/#comments Mon, 20 May 2013 18:04:05 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1077306 Stanford should have a standard core curriculum in the “Great Books” mold, exposing people to the most important ideas in our history.

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According to a memorial resolution passed by the faculty senate in the late 90s for William Carroll Bark, former director of the History of Western Civilization (HWC) Program, HWC was for a time the most popular class at Stanford. The program ran from 1935 until the late 1960s, when the forces of “political correctness” caused support from students and administrators for the program to decline. This was unfortunate, as the Western Civ program reached over 40,000 students over its 34 years, exposing them not only to the history of the Western world but the history of Western ideas. I believe this knowledge of our own civilization is sorely lacking these days.

There are a couple of reasons why Western Civilization in particular should be studied. For example, no matter which end of the political spectrum you’re debating from, you’re undoubtedly coming from a Western perspective, since, speaking generally, Europe was the origin of our ideas on governance.

A capitalist, a Keynesian and a Marxist walk into a bar. They debate ideas that originated from and most greatly influenced the West. Just look at the birthplaces of their intellectual progenitors: Smith was from Kirkcaldy, Keynes was from Cambridge and Marx was from Trier.

It’s also hard to impugn the idea that the rise of the West was the most important story in history, at least when talking about the formation of our modern world. Property rights, consumerism, the Enlightenment, the Scientific Revolution, the Industrial Revolution, the Information Revolution – all Western phenomena. Western medicine itself doubled and then more than doubled human life expectancy, atop slashing infant mortality, improving nutrition and eradicating diseases. To paraphrase Niall Ferguson, the West rose as a result of its institutions based on reason, and the “six killer apps” – competition, modern medicine, the consumer society, property rights, science and work ethic. A brief survey of history will show that empire was the least original thing the West ever did.

So obviously Western culture is unavoidable in the world today, especially as more and more countries adopt Western practices. But what about Stanford students in particular? Why should we care?

Well, first and foremost, we’re at a major research university, a model which had its origins in Germany. Secondly, there are few, if any, fields you can study here that aren’t either a direct result of Western civilization or viewed through a Western lens. Modern medicine is Western, so why not study its origins if you’re pre-med? You’ll begin to learn why certain ideas, practices or customs came about in the medical field, and walk away with a greater understanding about the history of your work. People involved in PoliSci, Public Policy and Econ in particular should be attuned to those subjects’ history. Issues might change, but ideas about the role of government, property, equality, etc. have been debated in the West since the Enlightenment. If we’re going to have a productive conversation about issues, we have to understand the fundamental ideas behind them.

Even on campus, think of the debates that would benefit from a little knowledge of history. Take standard of evidence in the Alternative Review Process. Why do we as a society value innocent until proven guilty? Well, it has its origins in Roman and Common law: “Ei incumbit probatio, qui dicit, non qui negat; cum per rerum naturam factum negantis probatio nulla sit.” (The proof lies upon him who affirms, not upon him who denies; since, by the nature of things, he who denies a fact cannot produce any proof.) It’s a very, very old maxim sacred to our society that shouldn’t be discarded lightly, even in the context of a university.

Additionally, our discussions about race and ethnicity affect the very foundations of our society, and not simply because our founding involved exclusionary principles. Is not equality under the law true equality? Or must we have equality of outcomes? We laud democracies, but what happens when they oppress minority groups? Is not the right to own property and the products of your labor more important than democracy? It’s all part of the debate opened by Plato’s “Republic” – what is justice?

And yet here at Stanford a student can go four years never having picked up “The Republic” or “Candide” or “The Wealth of Nations” or “Das Kapital” or any of those books that are the very foundation of philosophical wisdom, books that have contributed to the great Western conversation. I’m certainly not saying you should go become a history major or a classicist. Do what you love and go benefit the world with it.

But what I am saying is this: We need to be able to understand our civilization, which has both brought about the greatest standard of living in human history and caused unbelievable suffering. By doing so we can not only marvel at its successes, but begin to correct its shortcomings. I believe Stanford should not only do a greater job promoting the humanities, but should have a standard core curricula in the “Great Books” mold, exposing people to the most important ideas in our history.

Use the West’s least original invention to email Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Thank God Almighty for Elites https://stanforddaily.com/2013/05/07/thank-god-almighty-for-elites/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/05/07/thank-god-almighty-for-elites/#comments Tue, 07 May 2013 18:03:29 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1077002 There is nothing wrong with the existence of, or being, the elite.

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I was fortunate enough to go to Stanford Taiko’s spring show at the Bing Concert Hall this past Saturday. First off, major props to Stanford Taiko for an amazing performance; it was really fun to watch. And second, thank God for elites like the Bing family for making world-class concert venues possible!

My fellow-columnist Adam Johnson recently wrote a piece based loosely off William Dereseiwicz’s “The Disadvantages of an Elite Education,” which, if my reading is correct, was a condemnation of Stanford’s perpetuation of an elite class. As with all of Mr. Johnson’s columns, it’s worth the read. However, I must take exception to some of his points.

To reiterate, thank God Almighty we’re creating elites! In the past 150 years, medical elites have doubled human life expectancy all over the world. Elite Western medical establishments have given mankind the ability to literally eradicate diseases like smallpox and rinderpest. And, no matter how much you loathe pharmaceutical companies, the elite executives who runs these businesses have created platforms for sustained research while making medications available.

Hell, I’m typing on a device that gives me access to the entire corpus of human knowledge. Who developed these things? Elite engineers and programmers. Who made them available to me? Elite entrepreneurs and businessmen. It’s hard to look around my room and find something that wasn’t the product of a dynamic, innovative, talented, free man who was either elite in his field or was funded by elites.

Now, for the sake of not talking straight past each other, I’ll offer a caveat. I probably take a much more expansive view of the phrase elite than most people. Most people envision a fictitious group of old white guys in a room, smoking cigars, rubbing their hands together while examining gold doubloons through their monocles.

I, however, take the more expansive view of elites: that they’re people valued by society, and considered the best of that society, because of things like talent, charisma and wealth. That probably doesn’t sound too appealing either, but think about it: Without wealthy, powerful people, there would be no Stanford University. There would be no patrons of the arts. There would be no masterpieces to read. My Classics professors would never have been able to become classicists without a wealthy university willing to support them.

That’s the long way of saying that there is nothing wrong with the existence of, or being, a member of the elite. So what’s the problem? Well, to oversimplify the argument for the sake of a column, there are two potential dangers with the concept of elites. The first is being an asshole. Unfortunately, articles like Mr. Johnson’s make it easy to conflate being an elite with being a shitty human being. Suffice it to say, there is something wrong with being an asshole. Not cleaning up after yourself in the lounge is something very few of us do. The few that are messy are assholes. It’s a titanic step in logic to say that the handful of people who mess up a lounge are indicative of culture of entitlement, or that eating in a dining hall for four years somehow hampers my ability to interact with other people. Heck, loads of university students will be cared for during their tenure, but that doesn’t equate to a life of being out of touch.

And as for Dereseiwicz’s piece, the idea that easy extensions or lax grading creates leaders who’ll be irresponsible enough to tank the US economy is absurd. These guys aren’t the inevitable product of a university system gone haywire; they’re just assholes. Hard truth time: Assholes can be found throughout society. A greedy car mechanic may only screw individuals while a greedy corporate executive screws countries, but, guess what, they’re both greedy.

So, yes, there are elites who are assholes and tank the US economy. To make the leap and say Stanford’s education made this particular bad executive, keeping in mind that bad CEOs are a minority of CEOs, is ridiculous. There are also elites who fund trusts that are combating the HIV epidemic and creating microfinance opportunities in the third world. And, yes, there are companies, for-profit companies, that provide invaluable services. If we’re going to criticize institutions like Stanford for bad elites, our next breath better laud the elites it produces who champion and lead humanity. As I pointed out in a previous, albeit verbose, column, we here, with our wealth of resources, are practically obliged to become those good elites and continue to serve humanity.

For brevity, I’ll keep my second point about elites short. An elite class is only bad in the absence of fluidity. I’d love to live in a world where the elite class is accessible to anyone who is hardworking, talented and charismatic enough to break in. The upper echelons of our society could certainly use some more diversity – and Stanford helps do just that. We draw on the most talented individuals from vastly different backgrounds, and give generous financial aid to those who can’t afford to come here. The Ivy League, and other elite universities worth their salt, do the same. This increased diversity will be a boon to society down the road.

Is that all to say that non-elites are somehow worthless? Of course not. Everyone is deserving of love and respect. With that in mind, we need to be the kind of elites that cure cancer, build cheap, earthquake-proof structures in Pakistan, end wars and generate famine-resistant crops for East Africa. I think Stanford provides the opportunities for us to do these great things and attempts to produce these types of elites.

So get out in the world, start helping people and be the best our civilization has to offer.

Share your thoughts on the elite class with Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Men and Drugsandalcohol https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/29/men-and-drugsandalcohol/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/29/men-and-drugsandalcohol/#respond Tue, 30 Apr 2013 02:13:17 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1076815 Men use drugs and alcohol responsibly.

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Drugsandalcohol. Three words that, like mathandscience, are said in such quick succession that they should be one.

I remember that in elementary school we used to have programs dedicated to teaching us the evils of drugsandalcohol. For a good number of people, drugsandalcohol are truly evil, leading to addictions and broken lives. I’m not understating that. However, for most of us drugsandalcohol are a facet of near-everyday life and a way to socialize. Used responsibly, they can be positive things. So that brings me to the theme of this column: men use drugs and alcohol responsibly. I think using drugs and alcohol responsibly involves two things: reasonable amounts and reasonable times.

My first point is that a man uses drugs and alcohol safely, i.e. in reasonable amounts. You might think we already know this, but surprisingly few people actually practice it. I’ve seen plenty of parties turn from a fun evening into an ordeal in a matter of minutes because of over-drinking, or binging or crossfading. Any transport to the hospital was avoidable at some point, if the person had recognized his or her limits or a friend had stepped in to help. I’ve been caught up in it as much as any boy, trying to be macho by kicking back more shots than the guy next to me. Fortunately, I haven’t gotten into any trouble, but that type of behavior can cause things to go south quickly.

Someone once remarked to me that people are always going to have to push limits to find their boundaries, so unsafe drinking is unavoidable. I couldn’t disagree more. Nobody heads out on a Friday night and says, “Fuck it, I’m gonna drink ‘til I vomit. It might be dangerous but at least I’ll find my boundaries.” Even people that have found their alleged boundaries can still cross them consistently. Now, everyone has a different body but we’re generally the same. Therefore, we can educate ourselves about drinking guidelines, follow basic safety tricks like measuring drinks and go out with friends who are educated or caring enough to help us watch our limits.

I cite alcohol because I think it’s the most common example of drug abuse in which people think they know what they’re doing when they really don’t. Given the number of resources we have to educate ourselves about safe drinking, coupled with the availability of sober events on weekend nights, double-digit transports per quarter is way too high. A man knows his limits, not because he’s exceeded them before, but because he and his friends are educated about alcohol consumption.

My second point about responsibility has to do with taking certain substances at reasonable times. Drugs shouldn’t dictate a man’s social experience; they should complement it. Essentially, baking shouldn’t be on a social agenda. Marijuana is a great drug to enhance certain social experiences and hang out with friends. However, there’s a reasonable limit. If you and your friends can’t get together without marijuana, then you have a problem. Men should be able to have a good time together in the absence of drugs.

Similarly, your free time shouldn’t be dedicated to getting high. Baking is not a hobby. Your free time here at Stanford is best used learning a new skill, joining a student group or getting ahead in classes. Take your mates to go play soccer, or fountain hop or exercise. My purpose is not to chastise marijuana use; I have plenty of friends who smoke pot, and it affects their lives positively. However, there are plenty of boys for whom marijuana is a negative influence when it begins to dominate their social life and free time. A man doesn’t let drugs or alcohol dominate any aspect of his life, even in small, easily overlooked ways.

Share your thoughts on masculinity and drug use with Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Manliness and Vulnerability https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/23/manliness-and-vulnerability/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/23/manliness-and-vulnerability/#respond Tue, 23 Apr 2013 08:03:56 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1076661 It’s considered not manly to open up.

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Researcher-storyteller Brene Brown once gave a TED talk entitled “The Power of Vulnerability.” I highly suggest you check it out, because it definitely changed my life.

There were a lot of ideas thrown around, but foremost among them was the idea that we can’t be genuine unless we’re vulnerable. In her words, we can’t “selectively numb.” We can’t shut off pain, shame and rejection without hurting our ability to experience joy, pride and acceptance. This twenty-minute talk changed my life in a radical way: It inspired me to counsel at the Bridge, speak for SPoM panels and be more open in my life so others could be more open to me.

I broach this subject for an obvious reason: It’s considered not manly to open up. A lack of emotional intelligence is an oft-cited ill on our campus, but I think it applies to men in particular because men have fewer outlets, resources and personal tools to grapple with emotionally charged issues. It is unnecessary to go into the details of why this culture of silence exists; we all know that for men, more so than women,  it’s difficult to admit to experiencing heartbreak or sorrow or pain. There’s little room in male culture for vulnerability or, heaven forbid, sensitivity.

I recently had a guy open up to me about some serious issues he’s been dealing with, only to shut down halfway through the conversation and apologize by saying, “Sorry, I don’t usually get this whiny and vulnerable.”

Sure, there are problems that, when expressed, should be considered whining. Men also don’t whine about trivial affairs. But the difference between bitching about the little things and confronting serious emotional situations is pretty obvious. Real men do the latter and avoid the former. Real men allow themselves to be vulnerable from time to time.

So what can we do to break this cycle? Well, it’s important to recognize that we all suffer. Some of us suffer materially, some emotionally; some are made to suffer by others, and some self-inflict. We could argue there are varying degrees of suffering, but that misses the point; different events impact people differently, and what is an inconvenience for one person may be suffering for another.

Once we recognize that we all have demons, we can begin to be more open about what we’re going through, if only because it’d be less embarrassing. I think a lot of guys have an “oh shit” moment after they open up, because they’re afraid that no one else has that type of problem, that the listener is judging them or that they might come off as “weak.” But we’re all weak, and recognizing that is a first step towards becoming more vulnerable.

Finally, communication and reciprocation are key. Men who communicate what they experience, including the moments of vulnerability, are more emotionally intelligent, more attuned to the needs of others and ultimately more comfortable with themselves.

I would encourage readers to become more vulnerable in their lives and to put more of their authentic selves out there. You’ll get some letdowns, but I’ve found the important people end up reciprocating. By being vulnerable and authentic with each other, we won’t have to try and numb the lows of our emotional lives, because we’ll have friends and networks of support.

Open up to Chris anytime; he’d love to hear from you at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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On Manhood https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/16/on-manhood/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/16/on-manhood/#comments Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:09:05 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1076495 Buffalo wings, MMA and scantily clad women have little to do with manhood.

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For the rest of the quarter, I’m going to focus on my conception of manliness in the modern world. The title of the column is going to be “The New Man.” Essentially, I’d like to express my opinion about the changing dynamic of masculinity in the modern world and what it means to be a man.

For all the ladies and LGBTQIA-identified individuals about to put down the paper: Fear not! People are people, and most, if not all, the values I’ll outline in “The New Man” will be mores I think all people can aspire to. This column will not be about buffalo wings, MMA or scantily clad women – because, as far as I’m concerned, they have little to do with true manhood.

Defining manhood is a seemingly impossible task, and anything put forward here will be solely my opinion. The first point I want to make in this column is that manhood is in apposition, not opposition, to womanhood. The qualities that make a great man are, generally speaking, the same qualities that make a great woman. Manhood is not lifting heavy weights, resorting to physical violence, putting oneself in needless danger or even growing a sick beard. Real men deal in the honest truth, despite the pain that brings. Real men respect people from all walks of life, despite differences. Real men are flexible, despite holding true to their core values. Real men are on time, committed, focused, quick to help and slow to anger. The same is true for real women.

Undoubtedly, people will wonder why I’m writing about manhood and not adulthood. The fact: I’m a heterosexual male. Therefore, I feel I can talk with authority about current conceptions of masculinity and my qualms abut it, whereas I can’t talk about traditional femininity in the same way. A lot of what this column will deal with in the future has to do with the self-discovery of manhood. At no point, however, will I be contrasting manhood to womanhood in a negative light, because, frankly, most of what I value in men are qualities I value in women as well.

Ultimately, manhood and womanhood stand opposed primarily to childhood. The qualities I listed before – honesty, respect, flexibility, values, commitment and discipline – aren’t things I’d expect to see in a child. Children are dependent creatures. Either they haven’t learned these qualities or they choose not to exercise them.

For some people, the latter point – choosing not to practice certain qualities –  extends far beyond adolescence. Laundering money, corruption, bribery, pursuit of self-interest, abuse or generally being a dick are all things I’ve seen “adults” do that, in fact, are just plain childish. It shows an inherent selfishness, an unwillingness to play by the rules and a disregard for the well-being of others. Adults personify, or try to personify, virtuous behaviors. Children do not. I’m not trying to hate on little kids – they are, after all, less responsible for their actions – but I will hate on people who are too old to act childish.

Less extreme examples exist on campus too. We often fail to put friends and people before our studies; we neglect, willfully or not, people who are in crisis. We put too much work on our plate and let the quality of that work slide, where a true man would recognize his limitations and be fully committed to any endeavor. We’ll show up late, get lazy, party recklessly and be, or pretend to be, apathetic to important campus issues. On a personal level, I’ve seen friendships end, and I’ve ended friendships, for childish reasons. The takeaway about manliness from this first column: Men need to be mature.

I’ll end with a personal anecdote. I received a ticket for rolling through a stop sign on my bike. Rather than be a man, accept the citation and go to the class, I choose to be sour to the officer and bitch about the ticket to my friends. That’s just immature. I ended up going to the safety class, which was fantastic. They gave me two free lights, a helmet and a greater understanding of bike safety in less than an hour – all while expunging my citation!

If I had been more of a man about it, I wouldn’t have given lip to an officer who was doing his job, and I wouldn’t have worked myself into a fit about such a minor infraction. I’ll be more mature in the future.

Be a man – email Chris with your thoughts at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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To the new admits https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/09/to-the-new-admits/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/09/to-the-new-admits/#comments Tue, 09 Apr 2013 08:32:37 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1076287 An admission to Stanford is an obligation.

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There’s been a lot of talk recently about our record-shattering low admission rate. We ended up admitting somewhere around 5.7% of all applicants. Let’s all just sit for a second and recognize how small that number is.

For the class of 2017, it’s conceivable that congratulations are in order. I imagine that most of you have worked hard or endured some sort of hardship to get here, and you’ve been rewarded with admission to one of the greatest universities in the history of man. It’s an exciting time to relax for the latter part of senior year with all your friends in tow. You’ll have fantastic parties to attend, hands to shake and praise to receive from your respective schools.

But at some point in the near future, after the last hand has been shaken, the last party has been partied and the last award has been accepted, you’ll find yourself alone in your bed, trying to fall asleep. Your mind will be tossing and turning as much as your body, and you’ll have to come to terms with what your admission to Stanford means. Many of you may pause here, never realizing that, yes, your admission and subsequent presence here means something. It’s currently in vogue to say that meaning is entirely up to you. Forge and temper your own steel, or, to paraphrase Alexis Carrel, you are both the marble and the sculptor.

To some extent, yes, your presence here, your actions, agenda and trajectory are and should be entirely up to you. But, at the same time, an admission to Stanford is an obligation.

Allow me to give you an example. An old high school acquaintance contacted me not long ago and we got to talking. At one point, she said, as a compliment, that I “was a very gifted person.” I thought that so untrue. We here at Stanford are not gifted, we are obliged.

That is to say, our presence here is not an endowment from on high, it is a mandate to do good in the world. While here, you will have at your disposal resources – people, material and capital – that are, frankly, unfathomable. You’ll have peers with a wealth of experiences, the best professors in their field, generous stipends and fellowships, as well as access to organizations like the Haas Center for Public Service. It is your duty to use the tools and services this campus provides to make a positive impact on the world.

That impact does not include coding apps that convenience the lives of already convenienced people. It also doesn’t include aspiring to be a corporate lawyer or a high-powered, emotionally void businessman. I encourage you, admits – and my peers already here – to check your privilege and have a long, hard reflection about how best you can serve humanity.

The burden of curing HIV, solving world hunger, ending war, bringing justice and expanding the human literary corpus fall on the shoulders of elites like us. You – we – literally represent some of the most brilliant people in all the world with the resources to do things formerly thought incomprehensible. You are not here by some fluke. You are here to do those things.

You are a mountain climber who is approaching the top. Do not reach the top so the world can look up at you. Do not reach the top so you can sigh and look down at the world. Don’t do it to pat yourself on the back or revel in the accolades of others. Summit so that when you descend, you can guide the less capable to the top. Go forth.

Start doing some good in the world with Chris by emailing him at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Depression, It’s for Everyone (Part II) https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/02/depression-its-for-everyone-part-ii/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/04/02/depression-its-for-everyone-part-ii/#respond Wed, 03 Apr 2013 06:54:08 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1076128 Guys who buy heavily into masculine culture won’t be happy to seek professional help.

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My last piece detailed how signs of depression may differ in men, making depression harder to identify. It discussed how typical “boys will be boys” things like drinking, unsafe sex and risky behavior may be manifestations of an underlying depression. This piece will focus more on my experiences talking to depressed men and on potential ways to help someone in need.

The most important thing to do is identify someone with a problem. This is easier said than done, particularly in a place like Stanford where people are adept at hiding their problems. I hope my last piece is helpful in this regard.

It is equally important, however, to be attuned to a person’s behavior. The difference between a lot of drinking and unsafe drinking is blurry, especially since everyone handles their alcohol in a different way. Likewise, introversion versus extroversion is an experience different for every person. If your guy friend who used to party with you every weekend suddenly wants to stay inside, that is a potential problem. Likewise, if a more conservative drinker suddenly starts raging, it is time to talk. There is nothing wrong with behavioral changes for the better, but when someone changes in an unhealthy way you need to step in and provide support. Identification of a problem is the sine qua non of mental health.

Let’s say you think your friend is having a problem; now what? Well, ignoring the problem is not healthy for anyone. It is important to articulate your concern in a private conversation. Most guys walk through life thinking they do not have any problems, so being confronted by a friend will be tough. They might get defensive or clam up; very few sober guys will be effusive with their emotions.

Therefore, it’s important that you plan for these sorts of things by rehearsing with yourself or another friend. I find it important to remember that my job is to try to help people but that ultimately I can’t force someone to seek help. So make yourself available and listen attentively to whatever he has to say. There’s no need to invalidate emotions or guilt him (at this point) into seeking more professional help. Just listen and ask the occasional facilitating question. There’s no need to ask why he feels a certain way or why he’s behaving like that. Just listen.

Ultimately, you’ll want your friend to seek more professional help. Guys who buy heavily into masculine culture won’t be happy to. Typically, using “I” language and expressing your honest concern, while providing resources, is the best you can do: “I feel like you’ve been really withdrawn lately, which concerns me because you’re usually so upbeat. If you’re not feeling well, I’d like to help. I would appreciate it if you reached out to CAPS or the Bridge to talk to someone.” If he takes your advice, then great; if not, that’s fine too. At least someone tried to help. I firmly believe it is a friend’s job to express concern and help and that otherwise it’s not a friendship.

People will immediately point out that this is the way to approach anyone you think has a problem, not just guys. This is true to an extent, however there are some intangible things you need to understand about male culture before you can help a guy. For certain guys, masculinity is everything. It’s part of our daily lives, our conversations, our compliments and our insults. A lot of men gauge their self-worth based on perceived masculinity. And a part of the masculine perception is durability and self-reliance.

What I mean by those two things is the idea that a “manly man” shouldn’t have problems and that if he does, he should be able to solve them on his own. Debating the merits or failings of traditional masculinity is a subject for a different column; nonetheless, it’s important to understand that culture if you’re not a part of it. Suffice it to say, a lot of guys will be disinclined to seek help as a result of these cultural assumptions. This disinclination needs to be understood and planned for.

I hope this piece and its predecessor have been helpful in addressing depression in male culture. I’ve found many people unable to comprehend, or unwilling to confront, the effects of conventional masculinity. However, it’s important to “meet people where they’re at,” especially when dealing with sensitive subjects like mental health. I hope these columns can help you identify, talk to and empathize with friends in need.

Contact Chris with your ideas and concerns about mental health at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Depression: It’s for everyone https://stanforddaily.com/2013/03/13/depression-its-for-everyone/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/03/13/depression-its-for-everyone/#comments Wed, 13 Mar 2013 21:38:56 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1075873 Common conceptions of depression symptoms can blind us to people in need

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I recently saw a commercial for Cymbalta, an antidepressant, which had some spot-on assertions about what depression feels like. Depression is painful, it’s anhedonic, it’s tiring and so on. All of these fairly characterize what depression is.

There was at least one aspect of the commercial, however, that did a great injustice. Every person portrayed as depressed was a young woman. There was not a single mentally ill man in the commercial.

Unfortunately, there exists a pervasive conception that depression is for women. I won’t get into a whole debate about whether all gender stereotypes are harmful, but it’s clear that certain ones are. The stigma surrounding male mental health issues does nobody any good, and more resources and attention need to be brought to finding and helping clinically depressed men.

In terms of resource allocation, critics will immediately point out that women have higher incidences of major depression, and this is true. However, there is surely underreporting among men because of the stigma associated with mental illness in male culture. Moreover, men are more likely to successfully commit suicide, which could indicate a lack of treatment. Contrary to popular belief, suicidal people will not always “find a way.” People who attempt suicide and fail rarely repeat the attempt. Identification, prevention and treatment can literally save a young man’s life.

Whatever the numbers, the stigma surrounding mental illness in male culture is real and troubling. In this column, the first of two, I’d like to address some reasons why depression in men may go unnoticed. In my next column, I’ll explore easy ways to address these issues.

It’s easy to dismiss the underreporting of depression in men as a cultural stress on masculinity and stoicism. I certainly think this is a factor. However, I think the biggest issue is that men may manifest the “symptoms” of depression differently from women, making depression harder to identify in men. I’ll provide a few examples of seemingly common male behaviors that could be signs of depression.

First off, we all have a conception of self-harm as something like cutting. Cutting is clear, visible and obviously abnormal. This makes depressed people who cut easier to identify, thereby making intervention easier.

However, there are many types of self-harm, and men often induce self-harm through less obvious means like substance abuse, dangerous physical acts and risky sex. These things are often chalked up to boys being boys, i.e., these unhealthy behaviors are just what young men do.     But say we had a young man who comes to college, ignores his classes and drinks himself into a stupor every night. Is he irresponsible or is he depressed? It’s a surprisingly common phenomenon that’s almost invariably chalked up to an irresponsible young man being unable to handle the independence of college. But maybe moving to college has been a triggering factor, leading him to be depressed. It’s hard to tell, but ignoring these behavioral changes could be ignoring a serious underlying issue.

Likewise, risky behaviors can manifest in something seemingly benign, like speeding in a car. Teenagers are supposed to be irresponsible drivers, right? I had a friend, however, who would speed constantly because he didn’t care if he crashed and died. Similarly, it’s not uncommon for a car crash to be a suicide attempt. Ultimately, risky behavior in men could be a manifestation of self-loathing and hopelessness associated with major depression or the mania associated with bipolar depression.

Another example may be the idea that men have fewer “body issues” than women – i.e., they’re supposedly more comfortable with their appearance. But a man’s insecurity with his body is quite common. He may become obsessed with exercise, diet and muscle growth.

I’ve provided these examples to show that the common conceptions of depression symptoms can blind us to people in need. Now, I’m not saying that someone who drinks, speeds or over-exercises is clinically depressed.

But I am saying that depression isn’t just young women cutting, sleeping excessively or losing interest in life. We should all be cognizant of the people around us and realize that we can’t truly know what they’re going through until we ask.

Look for Chris’ second column on depression after spring break. Until then, contact him at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Bravo, Vegetarians https://stanforddaily.com/2013/02/21/bravo-vegetarians/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/02/21/bravo-vegetarians/#respond Fri, 22 Feb 2013 06:22:39 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1075123 To my vegetarian adversaries, I tip my hat. Keep fighting for your goals, getting in the way and causing a ruckus.

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There have been some recent debates about an incident at a screening of “American Meat.” Apparently some vegan hippies got up on the stage and showed a picture of a puppy and explained how we’re all evil for eating meat. Let’s be clear, I disagree with the worldview of these vegetarians, but all that is a conversation for a different column.

In this column, I’d like to applaud those vegetarians who had the balls to get up on stage and interrupt a function. For all those denizens of other “activist” groups on campus, take note. They interrupted a function, confronted its members,  and forced their agenda. Thumbs up from me; I was impressed. That takes some gumption and they should be damn proud of themselves.

I remember some pro-Palestine thing put on by a group of slacktivists. They sat in a road leading to White Plaza and failed to block the sidewalk. Congratulations, you didn’t have the gall to close up just one of the entrances to White Plaza. Did you pose a major interruption? How many people did you confront? Did you force an agenda? Did the event actually accomplish anything? Most of us were already aware of what was happening, so let’s not call it an awareness campaign.

I also recall the “Occupy Stanford” movement, of which I was briefly a part. The few meetings I attended seemed more like a group therapy session. I believe there were a solid five of us, maybe six, freezing our asses off one evening in Occupation. I left in disgust at the lack of support. Occupy Meyer was a solid idea, except people opted to be quiet and out-of-the-way when they should’ve been loud and in-your-face.

We here at Stanford have become a generation of beardless liberals, shorn by indifference and the unfailing belief that we’re starting “conversations.”

Leave conversations to The Daily and go out and take action. As pointed out by Billy Gallagher, we can barely make our voices heard on our own damn campus.

Angry about the food truck controversy? Stop eating at them! Better yet, grab your lunch at Tresidder, make a sign and go picket one of the Off The Grid food trucks. Pissed off about the termination of the Suites contracts? Grab ten friends and go sit outside Deborah Golder’s office until she answers your questions.

The administration gets away with this kind of crap because we let them. If you’re not doing something about it, then you have no right to complain about it.

So, to my vegetarian adversaries, I tip my hat once more. Keep fighting for your goals, getting in the way and causing a ruckus. You’re doing more than most.

Make a stand. Email Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Unanswered Questions https://stanforddaily.com/2013/02/08/unanswered-questions/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/02/08/unanswered-questions/#comments Sat, 09 Feb 2013 05:26:05 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074777 Susan Weinstein’s letter to the editor entitled “Stanford Food Trucks Policy Changes” was nothing short of detritus. Now, I really couldn’t care less about the food trucks, as I don’t eat at them. However, I care about accountability. The editorial gave us a timeline of events, for which I am thankful, but it failed to […]

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Susan Weinstein’s letter to the editor entitled “Stanford Food Trucks Policy Changes” was nothing short of detritus. Now, I really couldn’t care less about the food trucks, as I don’t eat at them. However, I care about accountability. The editorial gave us a timeline of events, for which I am thankful, but it failed to answer a single important question. I voiced these questions in the comment section and was disappointed to see that after three days, there was no response any of the comments. I’ll voice my questions again, slightly tweaked:

1) How much does it cost for a vendor to register with Off the Grid (OTG)? This isn’t just an issue of money. How much autonomy do they cede? Can they continue to set their own hours, menus, locations, etc? I find it hard to believe that OTG doesn’t cost something in monetary or human terms.

2) If you’re concerned about health and licenses, what the hell were you doing before the new policy? Were vendors like NetAppetit not being checked at all? Is it impossible to check a vendor’s qualifications and licenses without having them register with an outside agency?

3) Is what happened fair? Subjective question, I know. One could make the argument that having all vendors register with OTG is naturally fair. But that raises the question, how many of the trucks currently slated for winter quarter were already in the OTG fleet? If that number is high, then no, it’s not fair. Moreover, if it costs a lot of money or autonomy to join OTG, then no, it’s not fair.

4) NetAppetit seems to be an exception due to the guy’s popularity, quality, price, charity and longevity. If you have the power to alter a rule, why not alter it?

5) An addition: Where are the minutes to the meetings that were held on this issue? Please release them. If the devilish details we seek are in there, then the issue should be settled pretty quickly.

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That Second Cup of Coffee https://stanforddaily.com/2013/02/05/that-second-cup-of-coffee/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/02/05/that-second-cup-of-coffee/#respond Tue, 05 Feb 2013 08:14:18 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074628 In the end, where is profundity without gravity?

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I’m relatively new to the coffee game. I never drank it until a few weeks ago. But now it’s become a pleasure to sit in a public place with a black cup of joe just watching the world.

I’m not, however, new to people-watching. One of my great hobbies is to sit alone in the dining halls, or on a bench, or in the quad, marveling at all the people hurrying by.

For those of you looking for profound reflection, you’ll not find it in my head. Sometimes I just sit and I’m sad. I brew over my coffee and wonder whether or not these are the best days of my life. Reminiscing about the good old days, I wonder how good they really were. Other times I’m smiling, just because I get to enjoy a second cup of coffee. Happy to know that my mind is sharp and my body brawny, that I’m able to know and do things the average person only dreams about.

Yet generally speaking, I sit, as we all often do, in some sort of stasis. Trapped in the purgatory of routine. Waiting for the next time we can drink, or fuck, or laugh, or dance, or listen to music. Already longing for med school, or law school, or a cushioned job somewhere near the top. Just as in high school we longed for college, and in adulthood we’ll long for retirement. Sometimes I wonder what retired people long for. Maybe they too are waiting for God.

No matter what I’m feeling, my thoughts turn back to the people I’m watching. On occasions, their clothes will stand out. Sometimes it’s the way they interact. Odd posturing, evasive eyes. Yet, most of them are normal, which is why I love people-watching. It’s taught me that deep down we’re all essentially the same. It’s taught me to care. Because when I hear about a girl being raped, I know that she is my sister. And when a boy is starving, I know he is my brother.

From that I’ve learned that despite all the uncertainties in life, this much is certain: that we should try our hardest to be loving. It will not be easy, and we will all fall short. And, in some situations, even the right decision will hurt. But all we can be is our whole selves, to bring what goodness we have to the table. That openness will better the world more than any divestment campaign.

A former friend once criticized my outlook on life as being too serious, citing my obsession with the Book of Job. But when is the time to take life seriously? In the end, where is profundity without gravity? I look out at all the people walking past me, and I wonder if they know that the decisions they make now, no matter how small, shape the trajectory of their character. It makes me wish we would all slow down and grab a second cup of coffee. Because when we reflect, our lives are given context.

And we all lack context.

Chris is waiting for you to grab that second cup of coffee.  Contact him at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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A lance to my childhood https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/29/a-lance-to-my-childhood/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/29/a-lance-to-my-childhood/#comments Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:24:54 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074458 I still remember watching Lance Armstrong win his seventh straight Tour de France. It was history, insane, almost unfathomable history, that was happening right in front of me. I got the chance to watch this man do something that’s never been done before. At the time, I thought he was the greatest human in history […]

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I still remember watching Lance Armstrong win his seventh straight Tour de France. It was history, insane, almost unfathomable history, that was happening right in front of me. I got the chance to watch this man do something that’s never been done before. At the time, I thought he was the greatest human in history to ever mount a bicycle.

I’m not necessarily mad that he cheated, because apparently everyone was doping at the time. Hell, I’m not even angry with the deplorable way he handled the fallout despite the fact that it was litany of lies, bullying and scare tactics.

I’m angry because he stole something from all of us. He stole something from the world. When we see a great painting or listen to a spectacular song it stays with us. It is inextricably linked to our experience. Sometimes a book or play becomes so powerful it can radically alter our lives. We can see a man win an insane race seven times and be impacted by it. These performances, these feats of humanity become a part of us.

Lance Armstrong stole that part of humanity. His decision to lie, cheat and steal those victories took something away from all of us. He gave something to the incredible corpus of humanity, something I loved and believed in, and proceeded to take it away. That’s why I’m mad at him.

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Beyond Duck Syndrome https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/29/beyond-duck-syndrome/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/29/beyond-duck-syndrome/#respond Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:54:31 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074448 Changing how we think about mental illness is one step in solving the problem.

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A few days ago I sat down for coffee with a person who was feeling pretty dejected. She described how school was tough, things were getting bad back home and there was no one to turn to on campus. But she wanted to put on a facade of easiness so as not to attract attention. She was describing what a lot of us call the stereotypical “Stanford duck” – a person fine on the surface but paddling furiously beneath the surface to stay afloat.

When I originally sat down to write this article I was going to criticize the idea of Stanford duck syndrome. After all, here at Stanford we have fantastic support networks ranging from psychologists to advisors to community centers. The onus was in some sense on her to seek out these highly visible resources. I thought that, unless you have a serious mental illness, there’s no reason to be sad, because there are so many places on campus geared towards helping people.

I still feel that, in a way, privilege precludes sadness. There are times when you need to haul yourself up out of your moods and move on with life. Shit happens to everyone. We’re all busy, we all make mistakes and we all have high expectations that aren’t always met. You go drink with friends or eat a cookie – whatever it takes to cope. Ultimately, you have to own your emotions and realize that you can’t control the situation, you can only control your reaction. What made me most angry is that a lot of times our negativity isn’t validated, it’s just flawed thinking. It’s an overused term often applied to people who need to harden up.

I stand by much of this. There are few things I respect more than hard work and self-sufficiency. Those are the solutions for most of us. Most of us get back to equilibrium. Most, but not all.

I understand as well as anyone that depression is a serious, crippling issue for people our age. Statistically speaking, something like one-fifth of us will go through a major depressive episode at some point in our lives, and it tends to happen in a person’s early twenties.

Therefore, I resent the term duck syndrome, but I don’t reject it. My biggest qualm is that we use it without the utmost solemnity. We lump together all the problems we have and treat them equally in conversation. In reality, the difference between depression and sadness is a gaping gulf. Yet, we don’t make those distinctions. We need to be able to distinguish between the two in everyday talk. Only then can we enhance our dialogue and recognize people who are really need help.

Changing how we think about mental illness is one step in solving the problem. That’s why I work at the Bridge and speak for Stanford Peace of Mind. It’s not always fun to staff the counseling center on Friday nights when I could be drinking. It’s also not fun speaking to random strangers about depression. But it’s important for us to move our talk beyond the simplicity of duck syndrome and address the fact that there are depressed, downtrodden, suffering and, yes, suicidal people on campus who need help.

I’m not saying we all need to rush to join the mental health groups on campus, although you should feel free to. But we should all take seriously the question, “How are you?” If you take the time to listen, you may be surprised at a person’s answer. And your own.

Share your thoughts about Duck Syndrome with Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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The Internet is Serious Business https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/21/the-internet-is-serious-business/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/21/the-internet-is-serious-business/#respond Tue, 22 Jan 2013 07:37:52 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074232 A tool is only as good as its craftsmen, and the Internet is just that: a tool.

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One of my favorite movies is Clooney’s Good Night, and Good Luck (2005). It’s the story of how Edward R. Murrow, a famous CBS reporter, took on rabidly anti-communist Senator Joseph McCarthy in the 1950s and ultimately facilitated McCarthy’s downfall.

I was particularly struck by the way the filmmakers used one of Murrow’s speeches. They open with the first part of Murrow’s 1958 speech, cut to the body of the movie, and close with the rest of the speech. In that speech, Murrow outlines the fall of television networks due in part to greed, corruption and a quest for ratings: “And if there are any historians about 50 or 100 years from now, and there should be preserved the kinescopes for one week of all three networks, they will there find recorded in black and white, or color, evidence of decadence, escapism and insulation from the realities of the world in which we live.”

He bemoaned the abuse of television in 1958! I can only imagine how much rolling he’s done in his grave.

Murrow knew that the television was an important invention, and could be used to inspire and illuminate, instead of indulge and insulate. We know today that the power of television pales in comparison to the Internet, perhaps humanity’s greatest invention thus far. But one essential question remains the same: Do you use the Internet to inspire and illuminate, or indulge and insulate?

I imagine we use the Internet, like we use many things, for both good and bad purposes. Next to the latest picture of a cat on a keyboard, you may have a news article open. Or maybe the tab over from a YouTube video is Stanford’s library catalog, ready to assist you in your next paper. Maybe you use Facebook to both monitor the activities of acquaintances and as a facilitator for events and hangouts with the important people in your life.

There are those who occupy the extreme ends of Internet usage. Some commit absurd amounts of time to memes, blogs or forums that at their best facilitate idleness and at their worst perpetuate moral decay and indecency (I’m looking at you, denizens of /b/).

Others occupy the opposing end of that spectrum. I’m as prone to folly as anyone, but I try, generally, to use my time on the Internet as productively as possible. My Twitter feed follows my favorite magazines and educational journals. That way, all my news accrues in one place so I can log on and start reading various sources and perspectives. I’ll use my Facebook account to post articles and link up with friends and acquaintances. iTunes has allowed me to subscribe to interesting podcasts about the world.

When I meet a new person, I use Google to learn more about their interests. For example, I don’t know anything about ballet, but when I met a dancer I went home and did a little more research so I could better understand her life.

Unfortunately, I feel most people don’t try to use the Internet in this way. Many, rather than using the Internet to expand their horizons, use it to insulate themselves from the world.     They only occupy those corners of the web that bring comfort or entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with entertainment. We all want to be entertained. But we should all think critically about what entertains us. When you’re bored, that’s the time to be learning a new skill or perfecting old ones. That’s when you should learn chess or pick up a guitar. Free time is when you should go for a walk, contemplate life, drink with friends or hit the gym. Our time on Earth is admittedly limited. We should spend that time making the world a better place, not gawking at the latest nut-shot YouTube video.

Murrow concluded his speech by saying, “This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. There is a great and perhaps decisive battle to be fought against ignorance, intolerance and indifference. This weapon of television could be useful.” A tool is only as good as its craftsmen, and the Internet is just that: a tool.

How are you using it?

Feel free to use the Internet for one more thing: contacting Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Bikers! https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/17/bikers/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/17/bikers/#comments Thu, 17 Jan 2013 10:08:00 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074019 As I was biking out of the quad around one on Wednesday, I saw a small accident. Some guy came careening out of the arcade and slammed into the back tire of a girl’s bike as she was legally entering the quad. Fortunately, no one was hurt and there was no damage to either bike, […]

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As I was biking out of the quad around one on Wednesday, I saw a small accident. Some guy came careening out of the arcade and slammed into the back tire of a girl’s bike as she was legally entering the quad. Fortunately, no one was hurt and there was no damage to either bike, but I see this kind of garbage all too often. The fact is, you’re not supposed to bike in the arcades. If you do, at least you could keep it to a manageable speed and stop before encountering cross traffic. What would compel this idiot to cross traffic without looking from an unexpected angle is beyond me.

Attention all bad bikers on campus: I’m gettin’ real tired of your shit. Now, I’m not going to tell you to wear a helmet or stop at all the stop signs. That’d be impractical. But here’s my less-than-extensive list of how not to be a jackass biker:

1) Go the proper direction in the traffic circles. That means stay to the right. If you’re from Britain, or a select few former colonies, I’ll give you two free passes. Otherwise, keep to the right, especially during high traffic times. It’s hard enough to keep track of the bikers obeying convention without having to account for some moron who wants to save 10 meters on his trips.

2) Did you know that they make lights specifically for your handlebars? Crazy, I know — they’re relatively cheap too! If you value life and limb, get one for nighttime riding. People who ride bikes without lights pose a serious danger due to reduced visibility.

3) We all know that girl, with her earbuds in or cellphone on, meandering at two miles per hour down the center of the lane, showing a complete inability to bike a straight line. Don’t be that girl. The text can wait, as can the call, as can whatever song you’re listening to. Keep yours eyes, ears and mind on what’s happening.

4) Finally, nothing makes me lose the will to live quite like people who bike on sidewalks when there’s a perfectly good road neigh five feet away. I mean, how difficult is it to just ride on the road? Do they somehow feel safer on the sidewalk? Do they enjoy burdening pedestrians?

Quite frankly, I don’t want to know why people do the aforementioned asinine things. I don’t care. All I know is this shit needs to stop.

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Victim Blaming https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/15/victim-blaming/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/15/victim-blaming/#comments Tue, 15 Jan 2013 09:05:47 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074092 How we think about crime should be re-examined.

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Is victim-blaming ever justified?

The immediate answer is no, of course not. A girl doesn’t wear a provocative outfit with the aim of being sexually assaulted, and she doesn’t walk alone at night in the hope of being raped. To think so is not only ludicrous, but also hurtful and offensive. It is an attempt to invert victimization by saying the perpetrator couldn’t control his urges – urges that were brought on by a sexy decolletage or a few too many drinks. And who chose to wear that outfit or drink those drinks? The girl who was asking to be assaulted! When you slow it down and parse it out, you begin to realize how absurd it is to blame the victims of sexual assault.

But how often do we as a society blame victims in cases other than sexual assault? Leaving your laptop unattended in a public place seems like an uncommonly stupid thing to do – because it is. It’s taking a wholly unnecessary risk – but is it my fault for needing to use the bathroom and wanting to leave my laptop at my work station? What if I leave my dorm room unlocked? If someone were to steal from my dorm room I would anticipate a chorus of people saying, “You should’ve locked your doors!” Again, perhaps rightfully so, since I willingly took an unnecessary risk by leaving my door unlocked. Lastly, if I’m relieved of my Rolex on the streets of Spanish Harlem at midnight, who is at fault? Clearly the mugger, but it would be logical to ask, “Why would you walk around Spanish Harlem with a Rolex at midnight? Don’t you think that’s a little risky?” I would certainly be admonished not to do it again.

So is victim-blaming only wrong in cases of sexual assault, or is it universally bad? For those who say it’s only wrong in cases of sexual assault, I see your point. Sexual assault is a far more intimate and egregious violation than theft. Moreover, victim-blaming in sexual assault attempts to limit a person’s fundamental freedoms to do things like dress how they please.

At the same time, I should have the freedom to park my bike without a lock. After all, it’s not against the law to leave your bike unlocked, but it is against the law to walk off with someone else’s. It’s not my fault if someone steals it, yet I’d be inundated with comments about stupid it is to leave a bike unlocked.

I’m tempted to say that victim-blaming is universally wrong, not only because it is an attempt to limit the freedom of the victim but also because it’s an attempt to take blame away from the perpetrator. In reality, only the perpetrator can prevent a crime from happening; crime is the criminal’s decision. We try to use victims as extenuating circumstances to lessen, or at least explain, an offense.

However, that raises far more interesting questions about whether extenuating circumstances should ever be a factor when considering crime. Let’s say both a rich man and a poor man mug an old lady in Manhattan. Should we consider one of them more or less justified in their actions? If the poor man is more justified, should he receive a lighter sentence? Some would say yes on both counts. But again, we’re shifting blame away from the perpetrator of a crime by saying that external factors acted as an irresistible compelling factor. Could we then say that a college-aged assaulter was so overwhelmed by hormones and a hyper-sexualized culture that he’s not wholly to blame for rape? My answer to the latter is certainly no, but I’m unsure about the poverty-stricken mugger.

Suffice to say, how we think about crime should be re-examined.

Send Chris your thoughts on crime and victim-blaming at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Prohibitively Expensive https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/12/prohibitively-expensive/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/12/prohibitively-expensive/#comments Sat, 12 Jan 2013 08:32:59 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1074018 There’s been a lot of talk about gun control lately, so allow me to add two interesting tactics that I haven’t heard in the mainstream discourse. I’m not entirely sure about their feasibility, but they’re interesting. The first is taxation. The ultimate goal is to make it prohibitively expensive to have a small arsenal of […]

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There’s been a lot of talk about gun control lately, so allow me to add two interesting tactics that I haven’t heard in the mainstream discourse. I’m not entirely sure about their feasibility, but they’re interesting.

The first is taxation. The ultimate goal is to make it prohibitively expensive to have a small arsenal of firearms, which these mass shooters usually have access to. It looks something like this: Your first registered handgun isn’t taxed, but any gun you buy after that becomes increasingly more expensive. Likewise, things like assault rifles or high capacity magazines would be heavily taxed. With the addition of taxing ammunition, it becomes increasingly difficult to own and operate a firearm, reducing the proliferation of firearms. Now there are a lot of shootings. It involves regulation of gun shows and private sales, both of which are daunting tasks. Likewise, some would argue that this places an unfair burden on the poor, who would have less access to firearms. Then again, that argument can be made for sales, value added or fuel taxes. The Heller case may have made it difficult for governments to ban guns, but they should still be able to tax the hell out of firearms.
The second is liability insurance. If I understand the concept correctly, a person will have to insure his or her gun for liability. It’s the same principle that makes me buy insurance for my car because there’s compelling public interest. There would be actuaries to assign different premiums depending on a person’s age, race, experience, gun type, etc. Theoretically, it would make it too expensive for an at-risk person to legally obtain guns. There are other benefits: for example, a person could take a firearms safety course to drive down their premium.
There are obviously a few common flaws, such as the need to regulate gun shows and private sales. Likewise, none of them immediately address the problem of illegal guns. Maybe we could use the extra money on enforcement? Or enact stricter penalties for carrying an illegal weapon? There are no easy answers, but thinking outside of the box on policy issues never hurts.

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I Am a Virgin https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/07/i-am-a-virgin/ https://stanforddaily.com/2013/01/07/i-am-a-virgin/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2013 07:01:35 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1073900 I’ve never had a girlfriend and my first kiss was at Full Moon on the Quad.

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I am a virgin. It feels good to finally say it. Not only am I a virgin, but I’ve never had a girlfriend and my first kiss was at Full Moon on the Quad.

I have also lied about being a virgin for much of my post-pubescent life.

Lying is wrong and rarely justifiable. I’ve lied about my virginity to close friends, acquaintances and complete strangers. It was wrong of me and I apologize. I could continue to self-flagellate but rest assured that lying puts me through a particular mental anguish all on its own.

What you must understand is that my entire pre-Stanford sexual education came from octogenarian nuns and the creators of South Park. I never got a birds-and-the-bees talk from my parents. Instead, I was given a pamphlet in the fourth grade that only confused the entire process for me. The sex ed class in my high school told us about STDs, but never covered biology, mechanics, orientations or consent. We received a healthy fear of God and T-shirts extolling the virtues of abstinence. From that confusion only one message got through to me: I want to wait for a girl with whom I’m madly in love and have been dating for some time. The former has happened, but not the latter. Please note that I do not heap scorn on people whose proclivities or predilections differ from mine. I do, as we all should, respect every expression of sexuality within the confines of consent.

Still, it should also be noted that I’m not a virgin due to lack of opportunity. As unbelievable as it sounds, I was the object of a few crushes in high school. I’ve also been to parties and have imbibed my fair share of spirits. I have even blatantly shut down another person’s attempt at romantic intimacy and left the room. Suffice to say, mine is a volitional virginity.

The problem is that a tall, athletic, talented, blue-eyed, white, heterosexual male isn’t supposed to be a long-term virgin. And if he is, he should resent it. Like many of my friends and peers I was supposed to punch that card in high school, at the first opportunity. That is the heterosexual male culture that I, and many others, inhabit. Girls are often ostracized for having too much sex, while boys are often harassed for having too little. That is what I grew up seeing. That harassment is what I lied to avoid.

As I said before, I take full responsibility for my dishonesty. But sometimes the temptation for social acceptance is overwhelming. I’m not simply mad at myself for lying, but I’m mad that I felt compelled to lie. I let some boy’s drunken boasts about sexual exploits affect how I want to live my life. I let a roommate’s claim that he’s had the most sex of anyone in the dorm lead me to fabricate a history. I let some little imp compel me to dishonesty with jokes about my orientation, penis size, suavity, etc. There is nothing wrong with jokes so long as we subsequently validate a person’s perfectly valid stances. To be the butt of a joke and have no one say “I accept you” is truly jading.

That’s where closets come from. It’s not just the fire-and-brimstone evangelical who oppresses the LGBTQ community: It’s the taxing day-to-day invalidation by a society that vociferously accepts the “normal” while tacitly condemning the rest. The different standards we have for different groups ultimately leads to stigma.

We should strive to watch our words and actions, recognizing how they affect people. I’m as guilty and foul-mouthed as anyone, but I’ve been nothing but open and accepting in my caring for other people. Listening to other people’s lives has become such a joy for me, because I can learn their stories and become more understanding. We should strive for a society that validates all benign behaviors by actively accepting those different from us. Let’s create a culture that promotes open acceptance as the norm.

So to those I’ve lied to, I am sorry that I made such a bad decision. But it serves as a good lesson. Our actions, however small, can have lasting and adverse effects on people. Therefore, we should strive to know, comfort and accept those around us.

Contact Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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My problem with activism https://stanforddaily.com/2012/12/04/my-problem-with-activism/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/12/04/my-problem-with-activism/#comments Tue, 04 Dec 2012 22:17:26 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1073552 I’ve always had a conflicted relationship with activism. I look at the divestment campaign and see a bunch of bitter, narrow-minded people trying to stick it to Israel, thinking this will help Palestine. I saw the people who did a one-day fast for Darfur, thinking this will help. Did they think about Darfur the next […]

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I’ve always had a conflicted relationship with activism. I look at the divestment campaign and see a bunch of bitter, narrow-minded people trying to stick it to Israel, thinking this will help Palestine. I saw the people who did a one-day fast for Darfur, thinking this will help. Did they think about Darfur the next day? Two days after? Three? Will they ever be involved again?
For me, this is not service. Service is committing yourself to principles and habits that, in the long term, will positively affect the people you’re servicing. It is not jumping onto the bandwagon of popular causes. It is not angrily shouting about how the world is unfair, pretending you know how the world works. Wearing a Palestinian keffiyah doesn’t make you a humanitarian any more than running a stop sign on your bike makes you an anarchist.

Personally, I’ve been trying to do three things every day that I believe will foster service.

The first is one may surprise people. I pray before every meal. I pray to remember that there are billions of people in the world who will not be sitting down at a meal. The activists I’ve just offended will throw their hands up and lament how that accomplishes nothing. But if I think about those people every day, then when I am in a position of power, I will be empathetic enough to do something. If I ever become a policymaker, politician or community organizer, I won’t forget the hungry. I see so many people in my parents’ generation who never use their skills and expertise to help others. Lawyers, doctors, businessmen — many seem to forget the less fortunate because they neglected to foster an ethos of service.

Secondly, I always try to be involved with at least one service project at any given time. As of now, I’m co-leading an Alternative Spring Break trip about the HIV/AIDS epidemic in San Francisco. Over spring break we’ll travel around and talk to a lot of organizations involved in combating the spread and stigma of HIV. We will even get a chance to assemble safe-sex kits, do some outreach and participate in a needle exchange. Will this make a difference in combating the epidemic? Statistically, of course not. That isn’t the point. The point is that when these participants are on the frontline of medicine, community planning and law, they’ll remember the HIV-positive world, and will look to alleviate the stress that community faces.

Finally, I always try to be a good person. Honesty, integrity, forthrightness, dependability, etc: These are creeds which all men can aspire to, but few do. We let obligations slide. We let other people carry our weight in groups, projects or teams. We abandon friends and flail at the sight of confrontation. We avert serious issues and steer our ships toward clear weather, even if that leads to the wrong destination. Now, I make as many mistakes as the next person and I’m certainly no saint. But I aspire to live in a way that treats people well and fairly. Taking care of the people near you is high aspiration, and a dependable form of service.

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Do your reading https://stanforddaily.com/2012/12/03/do-your-reading/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/12/03/do-your-reading/#respond Mon, 03 Dec 2012 08:37:09 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1073551 My last Saturday evening was spent trying, and failing, to translate part of Ovid’s “Metamorphoses.” However, as I started to grasp some of the Latin I realized something: that I’ve read this before. The truth is, in middle school I read condensed versions of Greco-Roman myths, in high school I read the translations of Ovid […]

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My last Saturday evening was spent trying, and failing, to translate part of Ovid’s “Metamorphoses.” However, as I started to grasp some of the Latin I realized something: that I’ve read this before. The truth is, in middle school I read condensed versions of Greco-Roman myths, in high school I read the translations of Ovid and in college I’m translating Ovid myself. This is a really cool concept because I now get to interact with this text on its most fundamental level. Not only am I fostering an appreciation of its story, but also its lyrical, poetic and historical contexts.

As a humanities/soft-science person I encounter a lot of reading. Though I may not succeed, I always try to finish working with the material. Not just skimming it. Not just reading it. Working with it. I write in the margins, pose counterarguments and analyze rhetoric. I try to actively engage with each piece so I don’t become a dustbin of information. The point of reading is, after all, to engage in that great Western dialogue.

That is what I find so disappointing about people who choose not to read. Many of the texts presented in classes, particularly freshman and sophomore humanities classes, are the very foundations of Western culture. They’re not musty old tomes relegated to the past. They’re timeless because their ideas are timeless. The ideas presented still impact the world today. Many of the books we’re asked to read constitute the core ideas of Western thought and the perfection of medicine, philosophy, politics, art, poetry, music, math and science. They represent authors communicating across centuries, countries and cultures.

It’s humbling to know that as elite individuals, as all Stanford students are, we’re invited to participate in this classic conversation. We are asked to study, evaluate and eventually weigh in on this great Western society. Although your paper may not seem important now, it’s your first foray into the world of ideas. Most people end up shrinking away from it. We end up mailing in half-baked essays with half-baked ideas, settling for the eternal B. We don’t necessarily realize that each book we read, and each idea we cultivate, can bring us closer to adding to our society in a meaningful way. So I’ll say, do your reading. It’ll add up in the end.

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Sorry, Facebook, you’re not like chairs https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/27/sorry-facebook-youre-not-like-chairs/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/27/sorry-facebook-youre-not-like-chairs/#respond Tue, 27 Nov 2012 09:05:40 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1073388 Ultimately, the use of technology is about how much you want to be living your own life.

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If you haven’t heard, Facebook’s newest ad campaign compares the social networking site to common objects, showing how they both bring people together.

Let me be the first to extend my apologies. I’m sorry, Facebook, you’re not like chairs. Alas, you’re not like swimming pools either. To anticipate any future ad campaigns, you are also not like Christmas Day, dining room tables, churches, podiums, pulpits, courtrooms, or coitus – though I would love to see the ads for that last one.

You are, in truth, a glorified email account replete with pictures, maps, events, quips and a dozen other things we don’t care about, but buy into anyway. I can live without you, Facebook, but I don’t. I am, like so many, a victim of your convenience.

If you’re not in the mood for a lament, then put this paper down. This column is a lament. It is a lament for the bygone days when shaking hands was networking, letter-writing was a thing, self esteem wasn’t contingent on likes and men asked women out in person, without alcohol.

You could argue cellphones are equally culpable, and you’d be right. I typically avoid texting/messaging a conversation if a person is within a fifty-mile radius. I prefer the rawness of a face-to-face conversation. Most people would instantly agree; it is, after all, an easy proposition to agree with.

The problem is, I think some of those people would be fibbing. I’m often talking with someone who whips out their phone mid-conversation, acting like it’s neither an insult nor a distraction. Or there’s the tedious texter in class who seems to be holding fifteen “conversations” at once. There’s the ubiquitous practice of flirting with people over Facebook, email or texts, saying things you wouldn’t have the guts or guile to say in person. Then there are the people who use technology as a medium for cancellations, evasions and apologies. It’s sickening that important things such as breakups or apologies are done via text.

I know why we do it. Personal interactions can suck. Nothing bites like being turned down by your first crush. I know, because I remember it distinctly. I caught her outside Arrillaga Family Dining Commons and asked if she wanted to go for a hike and picnic, just the two of us, over the coming weekend. Fortunately for me, she declined with tact and grace. That didn’t leave me feeling any less vulnerable or emasculated.

The solace is that what I did took courage. I didn’t email it to her. I didn’t try to slip it into a text. We ate a few meals together in the dining halls, and then I was honest about my intentions. I try to adopt the same attitude with all my friends. If I care about someone, I’ll invite them for a walk, or for coffee, or any sort of intimate conversational setting.

I encourage everyone to do the same. Pick someone you want to get to know and hang out with them one-on-one. Taking the time to sit down and have a frank conversation with the people you love is something Facebook can never replicate.

Go further. I’ve been trying to leave my cell phone in my room so I’m more fully engaged with the world around me. We should choose when to check our phones, not have our phones dictate when they’re checked. Those chattering little boxes shouldn’t intrude, or be allowed to intrude.

Ultimately, the use of technology is about how much you want to be living your own life. Just because technology is available doesn’t mean it augments our existence; it may actually detract from it. Facebook and text messaging provide convenience at a great cost. We often confuse this convenience for personal interaction, to our detriment. Use these conveniences as a way to set up interactions, not as a medium for interaction.

The more these types of technologies pervade a person’s life, the worse that life becomes. You miss out on the fantastic and beautiful world around you that can both engage and captivate your senses. You lose the personal chemistry associated with real interaction. You can end up alienating people, and harming your ability to interact with the real world.

Let me end on a more positive note. I had invited two friends out to dinner, and we agreed on a mutual meeting place. When I arrived my friend told me she couldn’t go. She actually biked all the way out to tell me she couldn’t make it. She honored my invitation by showing up and explaining herself in person. I have nothing but respect for that.

Let Chris know what you think – just not via Facebook. Email him at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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We are consumers https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/23/we-are-consumers/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/23/we-are-consumers/#comments Fri, 23 Nov 2012 22:04:00 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1073282 A few months ago I was looking to buy a new battery for my motorcycle. I went to a small local mechanic over a dealership simply because I like to support small businesses and build relationships with their owners. The guy said the battery would be ready in three days, so I went at noon […]

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A few months ago I was looking to buy a new battery for my motorcycle. I went to a small local mechanic over a dealership simply because I like to support small businesses and build relationships with their owners. The guy said the battery would be ready in three days, so I went at noon three days later to pick it up. It wasn’t ready. I was told it would be ready at five. I went at five only to discover a note on the door saying they would be back in half an hour. I waited for an hour, to no avail. The next day I went to a dealership, and paid more, for my battery. I went back to the local mechanic to recover my deposit, threatening to write an editorial to the local paper. I ended up writing that article and have convinced others not to patronize the mechanic. It will ultimately be to his detriment.

I’m not an economist, but certain things just make sense. The consumer holds a lot of power. By choosing where to spend money, we’re choosing how businesses behave. I often hear people lament, “They’re just out to make money!” Of course a business wants to make money; that’s the point. Believing that bitching and platitudes will change that betrays a certain naivety.

We should use the greed of businesses to bring about the change we want. Are you fed up with eurocentric conceptions of beauty? Then don’t buy products from designers or beauticians who perpetuate that cycle. Hate the big banks? Make the move to credit unions. Loathe Walmart’s business practices? Do the research and go to retailers who pay livable wages; my brief research has brought up Costco as a respectable alternative. Are you tired of the “slutification” of Halloween? Then don’t wear a revealing costume, and encourage your friends to do the same. Are you as sick of homophobia as I am? Then don’t watch shows, vote for politicians or associate with groups that perpetuate these cycles.

Go beyond that. Write letters to companies, papers and firms expressing your frustration. We don’t need to pass laws about how organizations should be run; we just need to acknowledge who ultimately holds power, and that’s us. If that mechanic treats a few more people the way he treated me, he will lose his business. If a company wants to make money, it will ultimately have to sell a good or service. If we don’t consume because of their unfair practices or shoddy products, then they’ll change their model. Firms are, after all, greedy enough to want our business.

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The pain of caring https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/13/the-pain-of-caring/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/13/the-pain-of-caring/#comments Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:12:05 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1073005 Although caring can bring pain, it is a requisite for love.

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I am fortunate enough to be staffing for the Bridge Peer Counseling Center this quarter. One important concept in counseling is the idea of self-care. You cannot help others if you yourself are unwell. Therefore, the Bridge class, which I highly recommend taking, devotes an entire unit to taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Even so, some people may wonder why self-care is important. A lot of peer counseling is fairly routine. There are protocols to follow and general structures we use to help guide counselees. While no one type of counseling maps perfectly onto this system, there is a general flow to follow that makes counseling easier. It is not the stress of counseling itself that makes self-care important. The stress of caring about the people you counsel is what weighs upon you most heavily. Most people choose to staff at the Bridge because they care deeply about the mental health and well-being of their peers. But caring comes with a price.

Caring about people or causes leads to an inevitable vulnerability. That is what makes relationships so difficult. If two people did not care deeply about each other, then breakups would be no big deal. A lot of people do not even bother forming these close relationships simply because their dissolution hurts. But therein lies the problem: The only way to have a deep connection to something or someone is to care about it.

I feel that caring is not a popular thing to do on Stanford’s campus. Excuses are often designed to divorce us from caring about the subject. When someone does poorly in a class, I often hear them remark how stupid the class is. I did poorly because it’s just a club sport. I’m not calling him because he is not calling me. I can show up late, it’s just a pet project. I got that “B” because my TA is incompetent.

For most people, it is easier to go through life claiming you do not have a care in the world. It is easier to go with the flow or just slip by. The fact of the matter is, caring can really suck. It can be an unimaginably difficult thing to cope with. If you just simply dispose of your cares, then that pain will go away. I cannot lose friends I do not have, and I cannot fail at something I never try.

The problem is, if you go through life without giving a damn, one day you will realize that you are numb. You never had an intimate relationship because you were too afraid to be weak. You never stood up for a cause because you were embarrassed. You never learned a new hobby because bumbling around as a beginner is not fun. You did not let yourself get caught up in a passion because you did not know where it would lead. You were afraid of the pain caring can bring.

But the people I most respect are the ones that give a damn. This does not just apply to Olympians or Rhodes Scholars, though those people certainly demonstrate devotion. Caring is the club rugby player on my team who shows up half an hour early to practice and stays late. It is my friend who tried to show up at my dorm with brownies when I was feeling sad. It is the 70-year-old man in my Greek mythology class who just wants to learn. It is the ASB leaders at the Haas Center who invest themselves in social causes.

Now is the time to honestly assess who or what you care about. Although caring can bring pain, it is a requisite for love. Love is a manifestation of the care and admiration you invest into something or someone. Tolstoy once wrote that “there are as many loves as there are hearts.” That love starts with caring, and caring is up to you.

If you care about this column, do something about it by emailing Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Laptops and classrooms don’t mix https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/11/laptops-and-classrooms-dont-mix/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/11/laptops-and-classrooms-dont-mix/#comments Sun, 11 Nov 2012 09:19:26 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1072564 The ubiquity of laptops in classrooms troubles me. You have to understand, I am like a centenarian when it comes to technology, but I think the point is still poignant. I think we need to all admit that nobody pays full attention to a speaker when they have their laptop in front of them. That […]

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The ubiquity of laptops in classrooms troubles me. You have to understand, I am like a centenarian when it comes to technology, but I think the point is still poignant. I think we need to all admit that nobody pays full attention to a speaker when they have their laptop in front of them. That type of self-control just does not exist anymore.

The first objection will be that glancing at emails once or twice during lecture does not actually interrupt a person’s attention. Essentially, as long as you are not browsing memebase, reddit, 4chan or some other asinine expedient of time, then you are okay to take notes. I think this is a gross misconception.

First, the vast majority of people I have seen are glued to the screen perusing a website, especially in classes that lack visual aids. What I have seen is that when a person is not occupied with visual stimulation at the front of the room, they generate that stimulus themselves. For a lot of students, it is not just a quick look at emails. They are surfing the web, something that could be done at home.

Second, periodically checking your email during class is still a problem. What you are saying is that those things are on your mind. Facebook, email, texts, all have some grip on your attention, even if you think it is minimal. The problem with multi-tasking is that you end up doing two things poorly, rather than one well. Just because you are generating notes does not mean the talk has significance for you. Lectures, especially in the humanities, require active mental engagement. I often scribble notes about my notes during lectures, because even the information fed to us by professors requires scrutiny. You should not be a passive receptacle to information.

Lastly, web-surfing or text messaging during talks is simply rude. I was in a relatively small lecture class, with roughly thirty people, where the boy in front of me was blatantly texting on his phone the entire time. The speaker saw this and, at least for an instant, was visibly perturbed. He was a guest speaker asked to come talk to us about a topic of interest. That is not the way I was taught to receive a guest, and it certainly does not reflect well on the student body.

If you truly feel a lecturer is incompetent, or that his lecture is wasting your time, then leave. It is better to leave then to stay on and mindlessly record notes you could grab from a friend. There is no need to keep up the charade of paying attention when you are not.

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The future is now https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/06/the-future-is-now/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/11/06/the-future-is-now/#respond Tue, 06 Nov 2012 09:28:40 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1072643 For them, service is never a question.

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One was an old man named Thurman and I had just rescued his model airplane from a tree. He was a professor at Foothill who came to Lake Lag once a week to fly his friend’s model planes. His friend had died a few years back, and Thurman had promised to fly them. To quote Thurman, “I am not about to break a promise to a friend.”

Another was a young Yemeni I met near the summit of Kilimanjaro. His name eludes me, but I recall him saying that he was carrying his friend’s ashes to the top of the mountain. Mountaineering was something they had wanted to do together.

There was this guy I worked with in a South African township who spent his own money on recorders so the kids could learn music. He would even spare some time to teach them piano.

There was a bodybuilder in Athlone, Cape Town, who opened up a gym, at great financial cost to himself, so that the teenagers would have a place to go after school. I was fortunate enough to lift with him.

In Jordan I met with a group of women who took young girls out of the refugee districts to participate in a summer camp. It was a place for the girls to adventure, play and make friends. Their memories of that place will always be fond.

Lastly, there are my parents. Whenever I tell them about my summer options, or the courses I am taking, they comment on how that is something they would have loved to do. It was not until last week that I realized they never had the chance to do it. Still, I have never heard a grudging word when it comes to funding or support.

All these people know that the most important thing you can do in life is serve others. For them, service is never a question. Their service is a way of giving back to the world. Carrying your friend’s ashes to the top of a mountain is not going to solve hunger. Being dedicated to your friends, though, no matter what it takes, will certainly ignite change. Putting others before yourself takes the realization that you are not the center of the world. That your problems might not be nearly as large as someone else’s. It takes the realization that your schedule will never be as important as a human being.

This all clicked for me on Saturday morning when my teammate and I were doing a rugby workout at Steuber Field. There was a girls’ club soccer game going on and a little 8-year-old boy had been dragged by his mother to watch. I saw him playing with some of our equipment. Rather than telling him to bugger off, I invited him to join us. He ran the agility ladder and belted out some pull-ups. We even got him a little five-pound weight so he could do some cleans. I looked at how happy, active and involved he was and thought, “This kid is going somewhere.” Sure, it slowed our workout down, and we had to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt himself, but those types of things fall by the wayside when you are serving someone.

That was when I realized that we are now the present. For all of our lives we had been the future. Our parents told us about all the wonderful things we would do, and how the world would be bettered by our presence. They beamed when they thought about how we would carry their mantle into the future. As children, we would be lifted onto their shoulders to get a better view of the world. Expectations were pinned to our futures. That future is now.

The burden of being the present means we have a duty to that little boy. We need to make sure that he grows up with honest, decent men to look up to. Ultimately, we need to serve children like him. Our lives need to be dedicated to making the world a better place, so when we lift them on our shoulders they will not shudder at the sight.

If you are at Stanford, I can assure you that you have the skills necessary to better the world. You have the skills needed to make sure that that boy does not grow up in a world at war. To make sure he does not feel alone or isolated. You have the ability to generate ideas and technologies that can eliminate hunger and cure diseases. You can be a motivated teacher who inspires or a responsible policeman who protects. You not only have the skills to make the world a better place – you have the mandate.

That mandate does not begin at graduation. It does not begin in med school or at your first job. It begins now. We are no longer the future, we are the present. It is time to start acting like it.

Contact Chris Herries at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Nosce te ipsum https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/29/nosce-te-ipsum/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/29/nosce-te-ipsum/#respond Mon, 29 Oct 2012 07:09:04 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1072377 If you want real interactions then you have to be your real self.

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In high school I had a serious problem with exaggeration. Since I was always a bit awkward, I would often try to impress people by seeming cooler, sterner or smarter than I actually am. I twisted and turned my actual interests to project an image I wanted other people to accept. Frankly, I did not believe my actual self to be acceptable.

I was aided in the transition to college by a gap year where I worked abroad. I was able to work, roam around and get a better image of my “self” – whatever that is. So after coming to college I was no longer afraid to say and be who I was, or what I was feeling.

Two things struck me immediately. The first was that my notions in high school were right – I made far fewer friends by being myself. A good friend of mine quipped that I am the only person who can win a Nobel Prize and be convicted of a crime on the same day. A former dormmate, upon seeing me last month, remarked that I look like less of an asshole this year, and so I must be hiding it well. Those are probably pretty accurate depictions.

However, the second thing that struck me was how little I cared about the first. I no longer wanted to make friends by being someone else. It’s true: I’m probably not the best person to sit down and eat lunch with. Yet I would rather eat lunch alone than show up and make friends by pretending to be someone I am not.

It reminds me of my confirmation. I was confirmed in the Lutheran church, much to my chagrin. Not that there is anything wrong with the Lutherans – it’s just that I did not feel anything for the religion. Why should I go through an elaborate ceremony lying to myself and the congregation? I remember crying that night because I should have felt something and did not. I knelt next to an altar and lied to God himself because it was something other people wanted to see. That is how I feel when I fake a personality, so I have made it my mission to stop.

You may now be wondering how my stories are applicable to life at Stanford. We all know what a fake personality is because we have all been fake at some point. During sorority rush, I am sure you feigned interest in plenty of things. I hope what you did as a fraternity pledge was against your will. Have you ever met someone and felt like they just handed you a beefed up résumé? Have you ever been the one shilling out said résumé? And, of course, Stanford’s most common lie: “Your student group is my top priority!”

It could be a symptom of today’s society or our hectic lives or some other fond scapegoat we blame to compensate for our shortcomings. Either way, it’s harmful. If you want real interactions then you have to be your real self.

On my end, I am done with the soothing balm of fakeness. People will come and go out of your life; only you will remain constant. Be able to look at yourself in the mirror and accept your daily decisions. Your acceptance is more important than their acceptance.

Moreover, if you ever meet me, know that if you come as yourself I will accept you. Straight, gay, trans, queer, black, white, Latino, political, apathetic, athletic, lethargic, jock, nerd, bro, boss, prude, slut, rich, poor, techie, fuzzy, busy, bored, happy, sad or undecided – I will listen to anybody who comes to me as their whole self, ashamed or proud.

My late grandmother once told me that there is good in my heart, and I should bring it with me wherever I go. She was wrong in number, not sentiment. We all have good in our hearts, and we all should bring it with us. Get better every day.

Nosce te ipsum – know thyself.

Contact Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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What is diversity? https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/25/what-is-diversity/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/25/what-is-diversity/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2012 02:13:50 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1072253 I am interested in hard-working, dedicated and motivated peers. I could not care less about a person’s race.

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Affirmative action is a notoriously difficult subject to think about, so imagine how hard it is to write about! I have honestly been torn on this important and contentious issue. On the one hand, I support a private university’s right to accept whomever it wants. It is evidenced, or at least posited, that diversity is a positive thing for a college environment, a veritable boon for all parties involved. However, it is hard to deny someone who is more qualified a position on the basis of race. Frankly, when I am part of a team or student group, I am interested in hard-working, dedicated and motivated peers. I could not care less about a person’s race.

The arguments are far more complex than my inadequate presentation, but they are not my main concern. The question that I want to drive home is this: What is diversity? The color of your skin doesn’t mandate a cultural heritage and certainly does not qualify you as different from me. My friend and I are of two different races, but we share many of the same social, political and economic concerns. I firmly believe his race is not what differentiates our pasts; his decisions, geography and family do.

Some people will immediately throw up their hands, perhaps with good reason, and claim that race affects all three of those. I am not a sociologist, so I have absolutely no concrete evidence either way. However, I do know that in this country, as much as in any, your birth is not a determinant of your future. It may be a predictor, but it is not a determinant. Likewise, it is childish to think that all black people are poor, latinos foreign or whites affluent. Your race alone does not qualify as diverse.

I do not have any solid answers for what does qualify as diversity, but it is something that institutions need to address. In my mind, at least, socioeconomic class as an admissions factor could not only bridge the race gap, but it could also supply schools with a greater spectrum of the American people. In that way we would move towards a university where all strata of society are involved. Now I imagine there are sound arguments against using class as a factor for admissions, which I hope will be elaborated on in the comments!

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Victims of comfort https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/23/victims-of-comfort/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/23/victims-of-comfort/#respond Tue, 23 Oct 2012 07:04:34 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1072151 Be able to live with the decisions you make because in the end, you will have to.

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Making friends has always been hard for me. That is, of course, a symptom of my personality, not some commentary on society being closed or judgemental. I am not an easy person to get along with, my humor is coarse and my tastes are different, to say the least. I went through freshman year getting close to one, maybe two people, thinking that would suffice. I never had a group of people I went to parties with, I chose not to go to team events, and I failed to properly seek out friends in other areas. Frankly, I am great at talking to strangers, asking questions and getting to know people, but that has never amounted to even a casual friendship. Coming into sophomore year I wasn’t worried about making friends or keeping old ones. I figured if I made time for new people and invited them places, they’d reciprocate.

I was wrong.

Now this could simply be my experience; I have never claimed to speak for anyone other than myself. It could be because I am a little bit older, or a little more morose than others, but I don’t think so. My belief is that sophomores are not too keen on making time for new people on a genuine level, and we all know there is a limit to how many times you can put yourself out on the line for someone. It is a symptom of the tranquility of routine, the love of repetition and a desire to do what one is comfortable with. Although I pride myself on trying to meet new people and broaden my horizons, I imagine I fall short on many occasions. We are all victims of comfort.

One of my goals for the quarter is simple: Look at the Stanford events calendar and attend two events a week. They could be games, art exhibits, lectures, concerts, etc. I choose two and I invite someone I want to get to know better. Sadly, only one person has ever chosen to go with me out of nearly a dozen invitations. Now this isn’t some maudlin cry for help or some profession of deep loneliness – I cherish the time to introspect – rather it is a comment on our lives. Are you so busy that two hours cannot be spared to get to know someone new? Or, more importantly, to get to know someone you thought you knew? My one friend and I agreed that, if we are not available for each at least once a week, then our lives are screwed up.

I firmly believe that you can never have trouble prioritizing – you just prioritize. You pick certain aspects of your life and make them more important than others.

I’m not in the business of criticizing someone’s priorities, but I am in the business of reflection. Make sure your priorities are what you want them to be and not what you think they should be. Be able to live with the decisions you make because in the end, you will have to. When I set out goals for the quarter they are not garbage goals like “get straight A’s.” They’re things that are genuinely important to me, like “make at least two new friends,” “find a new favorite book,” “work on my power cleans,” “visit the cactus garden” and “make time for people whether or not it is convenient for me.”

I ran into someone from my dorm at The Axe and Palm earlier this month. She had expressed the same friend-finding disillusionment I had. However, she had been a little more proactive. She said she was joining new student groups and taking fewer classes in order to find her niche on campus. She knows what she wants, and she is trying to find it. She is someone we can all respect.

Get in touch with Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Grief, grandmas and greatness https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/17/grief-grandmas-and-greatness/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/17/grief-grandmas-and-greatness/#comments Thu, 18 Oct 2012 00:25:33 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071956 This week I humbly ask you to call your grandmother, or your father, or your daughter, because one day there will be no answer on the other end of that line.

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Last Tuesday I was making my weekly phone calls to friends and family. After talking to my mother I immediately punched in the number for my grandmother. The alien voice on the other end told me the number was no longer in service. It was then that I remembered that my grandma had died about a week before. Throughout the hustle and bustle of week two I never realized that I would be making one less call every week.

What I did realize is that the person who made the greatest impact in my life just isn’t going to pick up the phone again. She helped me travel the world. She taught me to be open minded, to experience things and to care about injustice. She showed me how to love others and myself. Yeah, she’s dead, and that sucks because much of the man I am today is her doing. There are some debts in life we cannot repay, but are happy to carry. Such was my relationship with her. As kids we’re told to fear monsters and boogie men while really the only pain in life is parting. The only times I’ve been afraid is during goodbyes, because only God knows their finality.

Should we be sad when we lose people? Of course, but we should realize that if it hurts now that’s only because we shared something truly special in the past. Moreover, people never really leave us. Before my grandma died she promised that she’d always be with me. Maybe you don’t buy into the whole afterlife idea, but the lessons she taught are going to stay. They’ll mean something. And when the time comes, I’ll tell my daughters about how they should aspire to be as strong as their great-grandmother.

Now, I’m not writing all this for catharsis or sympathy – that would be a little selfish on my end. What I want to remind you is that truly great people don’t have to pass through this world with pomp and procession. Fantastic individuals, filled with love and compassion, pass virtually unmarked every day. There will be no Nobel Peace Prize to remember them. There will be no statues, nor memorials. There will be little more than a grieving family and a modest headstone.

That doesn’t diminish who they are, or how meaningful their lives were, so long as we realize that greatness comes in all forms. My grandmother was, without hyperbole, a fierce friend, a loving mother, a hard worker, a generous soul, and a faithful wife. She was a positive influence on nearly everyone she met, and was constantly decades ahead of her time. I can think of no higher calling than to love those closest to you, without condition or pretense, as she did.

In your life, you may be concerned with wealth, or fame, or power, or fortune. These are high aspirations and by no means make you a bad person. However, never think those things are what qualify you as a great person, because they don’t. Great people aren’t concerned with the vanities of fame – those come if they come. Great people are in the business of love and honesty. They love those around them without affliction, and care deeply about their wards.

Therefore, if you want to be a great person, heed this: Great people are servants first. They realize that the world doesn’t owe them anything – they owe their talents and selves to make sure that those around them go to bed filled, loved and cared for. Fortunately, I was there in my grandma’s final days. She used her life to serve well, and died happy for it. Love is something to which we can all aspire, even in our small, albeit sunny, corner of the world.

This week I humbly ask you to call your grandmother, or your father, or your daughter, because one day there will be no answer on the other end of that line. You’ll have little left save the lessons they passed on, because you are their record in the world. When questioned about death I recall Tolkien’s famous words, “not all tears are an evil.”

Contact Chris at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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When things go well https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/14/when-things-go-well/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/14/when-things-go-well/#comments Sun, 14 Oct 2012 23:23:15 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071785 I have learned a few things in my brief, four-week foray into writing. First, using contractions is apparently bad style. Second, when in doubt, cut it out. Third, nothing is ever going to be as good as you want it to be. Fourth, ignorant readers who disagree with one idea in your piece, disagree with […]

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I have learned a few things in my brief, four-week foray into writing. First, using contractions is apparently bad style. Second, when in doubt, cut it out. Third, nothing is ever going to be as good as you want it to be. Fourth, ignorant readers who disagree with one idea in your piece, disagree with all of them. Finally, writers thrive off criticism. They pick something that pisses them off and vent about it. I am the same way. I see a problem, I point it out, identify the pros but ultimately condemn an action as a con. So in this piece, let me silence what I do best, criticize, and cite one of a thousand things that Stanford does really well.

Stanford gives me an infinite number of ways to better myself. Classes, club sports, gyms, social scenes, etc. are all fantastic ways to ensure that I am a better person today than I was yesterday. An example would be Stanford’s various and fantastic classical concerts. Now, my friends can attest that I know absolutely nothing about music. I can’t play a note, let alone an instrument; the result of an adolescence dominated by chess and track. However, appreciating music is something I have been trying to do for a long time. The free concerts put on by the Friends of Music at Stanford are my only real window into the world of music. I have been trying to get friends and acquaintances involved, to no avail, but that doesn’t stop me from taking advantage of a great opportunity.

Stopping to dwell on what is going right in your life is a good exercise. Now, I am not saying you should trot around boasting about yourself or berating others for negativity. However, concentrating on the good is a part of self-care and mental health that we should all practice.

I take three things that are going well in a week, write them down and put them in my wallet so I always have something to be thankful for. My tip is to limit, not eliminate, your inner critic. Be adventurous, take risks and focus on what is going well in the world around you, and how you can take advantage of that.

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The virtues of tearing pages https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/08/the-virtues-of-tearing-pages/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/08/the-virtues-of-tearing-pages/#comments Tue, 09 Oct 2012 06:51:39 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071615 Even on the seemingly complex level of dealing with other people, the choices are pretty black and white.

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Being able to work with kids has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. Obviously there are many and various reasons why working with children is rewarding, but none more so than this:

I used to work at a school for those with cerebral palsy. One day my wards and I were wrapping up a baller reading session when one of the kids came up to me with a torn-out page. He told me he had absconded with the page a week ago because he liked the picture. What’s important to realize is that in our paltry library of molding books, an absent page isn’t missed. When I asked him why he was bringing the page back he said, “because taking the page was the wrong thing to do.” “And why are you confessing to this now?” “Because it’s the right thing to do.”

It is as if this boy knows who inherits the Earth! Of course, my repertoire has a hundred stories of children doing dishonest things; those who do wrong are people too. But when a child does something morally upstanding it carries more weight. If a child can do it, why can’t I?

Since its inception in classical Greece, philosophy has been questioning abstractions like justice – so I’m perfectly happy to know that stronger minds than mine are on the case! As this young man illustrates, however, everyday morality is a much simpler concept than we adults think. The daily decisions we have to make often have clear “rights” and “wrongs,” regardless of whether or not we want to think that way. Leaving a mess in the dining hall is the wrong thing to do. Failing to clean up after a picnic on one of the fields hurts us all. Hurrying by someone who fell off their bike is a problem. Choosing to ignore an agreed-upon deadline is blatantly wrong, as is the sense of indignation for the punishment it brings.

Even on the seemingly complex level of dealing with other people, the choices are pretty black and white. Respect your girlfriend; cheating is wrong. If a friend is having a problem, don’t write it off as their problem and none of your concern. If what you’re about to say is the truth, then you have to tell it, even if it is hurtful. If someone asks you a question, profound or simple, answer it. Don’t blame your past or push it off to your future. Don’t float around with evasions or excuses. Cowards make excuses and we need to be better than that. Respect other people and their rights as people, no matter how different they are from you.

Frankly, I believe that when we falter and do the wrong thing it is because the right thing is harder. There was a rather ugly incident in my Catholic high school where a few teachers had to be laid off by the principal. I pity the man who has to make these types of decisions. I don’t pity the man who chooses to notify the teachers about their termination via letters. Those are the actions of someone who has spent their lifetime choosing to do things the easy way. The principal fired teachers through five-line notes in their mailboxes. Now, my father is a responsible business owner and his commentary is something I’ll always keep with me: “Chris, if I fire a man, I’ll at least give him the courtesy of a meeting, a reason and eye contact.” It is painful, it is hard and it is the right thing to do.

Asking a girl out through a text message is the easiest thing in the world and it is wrong. Saying X will always be easier than doing X. Shirking work on a team project, ignoring emails or choosing not to donate time is far easier than choosing to man-up and do our fair share or, heaven forbid, more than our fair share.

So, it’s my turn to get in on the page tearing action. Each day I try to be more like that kid, because he has it down. Figuring out the everyday right and wrong doesn’t require a philosophy degree, it requires common sense and caring. When we err, let us err towards honesty, transparency and the golden rule.

Emailing Chris is the right thing to do – and it’s also easy! Reach him at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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To the freshman girl who realized I was drinking vodka https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/05/to-the-freshmen-girl-who-realized-i-was-drinking-vodka/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/05/to-the-freshmen-girl-who-realized-i-was-drinking-vodka/#comments Fri, 05 Oct 2012 22:28:44 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071530 I was wandering around a party one evening when a girl, presumably a freshman, commented on my near full cup of clear liquid. “Just drinking water tonight?” she giggled. I had to stifle my laugh. I gave her a whiff so she could smell that the cup was filled with pure 80-proof vodka, decidedly not […]

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I was wandering around a party one evening when a girl, presumably a freshman, commented on my near full cup of clear liquid.

“Just drinking water tonight?” she giggled.

I had to stifle my laugh. I gave her a whiff so she could smell that the cup was filled with pure 80-proof vodka, decidedly not water. Suffice it to say, I think this helps to illustrate the disconnect that a lot of freshmen have to face when it comes to the Stanford drinking scene. Now a lot of debate has surfaced about drinking topics, and there are few perspectives I could take that wouldn’t be rehashing what has been said already. Safety, for yourself and others, is paramount. That’s obvious and I am not going to hammer home a point that’s already overstated. I’ve made mistakes in my life, as have most people. You’re reading a column by someone who has seen good and bad ends. I will stress a point about self-discipline, and before you stop reading, it’s not going to be the type of self-discipline you’re thinking.

Generally speaking, I think discipline comes down to whether or not you want alcohol to control your life. What most people don’t realize is that this happens on both ends of the spectrum. If you feel you need to drink to have fun, or you frequent the same scenes every weekend, then there’s a problem. Your social life should be varied and you should seek to have fun sober, with or without friends. Shows, recitals, museums, lectures: All these things are wonderful occasions to go out and enrich your mind on the weekends. These programs should be taken advantage of.

Yet, the converse is also true. If you abstain from alcohol, or let your fears and misunderstandings of spirits drive you away from them, then you’re losing out on a fantastic part of the freshman experience. Partying with friends and having adventures — read: misadventures — is a fantastic opportunity. People lament, “I feel like I’m being pressured to use alcohol to have the totality of the freshman experience.” I’m sorry to break it to you, but alcohol is a component of the freshman experience. It’s not the largest component, and your life doesn’t end without it, but you’ll miss out on a lot of cool social experiences if you choose not to use it. Fraternities suck without alcohol, as is epitomized by what my good friend Ed Ngai posted on Facebook: “You’ve never seen a shitshow until you’ve sober monitored at Full Moon on the Quad.”

Now, this isn’t a warrant to go out and drink yourself into submission, but it is a warrant to use the time and space of Stanford to experiment with your life. Try differing and unique ways of socializing, because safely expanding what you do and who you do it with can, at worst, expand your view of the world.

Discomfort can be a fantastic catalyst for change in our lives. What I am requesting is that you use the ample information Stanford has given you about safe drinking, and the safe forum provided by fantastic staffers and good friends, to experiment with your life. Push your social boundaries and inhabit a world you’re not entirely familiar with. If you try it and discover it’s not for you, then stop; there are plenty of other fantastic things to do on this campus.

The same can be said of frequent drinkers. Go to one of the Cardinal Nights events. They run their programs well, provide food and offer good entertainment options for a quiet evening. Just because you can rage doesn’t mean you have to; those opportunities are far more plentiful than people will have you believe.

As far as university drinking scenes go, Stanford is fantastic. There’s a mix for everyone here, combined with lenient rules, safe environments, staffers who care and an administration concerned with our well-being. True discipline, to which we should all aspire, is using alcohol at the right times, and in the right amounts, to have fun. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in that.

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Bless me, father, for I have sinned https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/01/bless-me-father-for-i-have-sinned/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/10/01/bless-me-father-for-i-have-sinned/#respond Tue, 02 Oct 2012 06:38:56 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071330 Success isn’t worth sacrificing your integrity for.

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For those of you who don’t know, long-distance running races can be decided by a matter of steps in the middle of the race. Keeping your opponent close, and in your sights, is just as important in the middle of the race as it is in the end. That’s all to give you some context for this story.

In high school I used to run cross country, and all the important meets were at a place called Bear Mountain. The second mile of this three-mile race went up into the mountain proper, a place devoid of officials but replete with clearly delineated trail markers. Despite this, it was common to cut a few steps off a sharp turn by jumping over a bush. Now, my mediocrity was legendary, so this story isn’t about me. However, I was good friends with a very talented, heavily favored runner from a rival school, who ended up coming in fourth in a very important race. I questioned him on it, and I’ll never forget what he said: “I lost because I’m not a cheat.” The three runners in front of him had cut the barrier. He never really caught back up to the pack.

This is as good a forum as any to talk about cheating. Now, bless me father for I have sinned; there were isolated times when I would peek at a person’s paper in high school for some inspiration. Fortunately, I wasn’t in a very competitive high school, so I was never tempted to systematize cheating and it was never a habit. But I’m human like everyone else, and if I went to one of those cutthroat test schools the story could’ve been different.

People cheat in life for many reasons: wanting to get into a certain school, receive a certain grade, land a certain girl, or have just that much more leisure time. It’s been rationalized in a dozen ways. I’ve had one friend claim that he didn’t want incompetent people to receive admission to elite schools in his stead just because he chose integrity. What’s wrong with leveling the playing field? Others claim it’s an issue of time. If you’re rushed, is it so wrong to Sparknote a book? Some see it as a natural part of specific classes. If you write three hundred lines of code and get no output, is it cheating to check someone else’s code? Many kids don’t even have an actual working definition of cheating. Imagine you have to write identifications on your IHUM final. Sorry, Thinking Matters final. In either case you and four friends split up the twenty identifications and put them on a Google doc. Did you just cheat?

Now cheating is obviously bad for obvious reasons. We’re at a university, and integrity is at the heart of education. That should be reason enough.

However, there’s a much deeper, much more meaningful reason to avoid cheating, in school and life. A man who cheats on his girlfriend has some clear future in mind where this makes him happier. The student at Stuyvesant or Bronx Science cheats to get into a better college and thereby be more successful. The person who cuts corners to save time clearly thinks that time will be better spent, that she will ultimately be happier.

In fact, in almost every case of cheating the perpetrator has a vision of the future in mind where they’re happier or more successful. Here’s my issue, and here’s the real reason we shouldn’t cheat. Dishonesty should never factor into our conceptions of success or happiness. And if they do, if you’re comfortable being successful and dishonest, then you need to question what your success has cost you. If you think immorality is a route to contentment then you need to question what contentment is. I’ve always found myself to be significantly happier when I’m honest with myself and others – and that means working hard, being dedicated to friends and sticking to my principles, even when there’s an easier way.

Now as I’ve said before, I’m neither a judge, nor a jury, nor an executioner. I tend to believe that people should do what makes them happy. All I ask is that if you choose to be dishonest in your dealings, double-check to make sure you’re okay with that lifestyle. If I were to cheat in order to be successful, then I would question my metric for success. Success isn’t worth sacrificing your integrity for.

Contact Chris Herries at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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Victim-blaming problem https://stanforddaily.com/2012/09/25/victim-blaming-problem/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/09/25/victim-blaming-problem/#respond Tue, 25 Sep 2012 19:14:53 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071051 What kind of intellectual would I be if periods of reflection didn’t alter my views? A poor one, no doubt. Yesterday I read a Daily article about the recent string of sexual assaults on campus, written by Ileana Najarro. In the article, SARA Office Dean Angela Exson is quoted as saying, “We [the Sexual Assault […]

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What kind of intellectual would I be if periods of reflection didn’t alter my views? A poor one, no doubt.

Yesterday I read a Daily article about the recent string of sexual assaults on campus, written by Ileana Najarro. In the article, SARA Office Dean Angela Exson is quoted as saying, “We [the Sexual Assault and Relationship Abuse Office] encourage students to do whatever makes them feel more safe and empowered in public spaces and behind closed doors, but we prefer not to give advice on self-defense.” This is done to avoid victim-blaming, which is the very unjust, very destructive practice of asserting that a survivor of sexual assault is at fault. For example, it’s often heard that, “she/he shouldn’t have been wearing that,” or “she/he should’ve fought back.” This attitude is wrong, unhelpful and malicious.

However, I first thought that if an advantage can be given, why not give it? If running in groups, watching your drinks and looking out for each other at parties was safer, then the SARA office and the Women’s Community Center (WCC) should certainly be promoting them. After all, equipping someone with safer habits is an important task. However, as I thought more about the issue I had to change my stance and, for the purpose of creating a dialogue, I’ll share why.

We have to consider what niches are filled on campus surrounding sexual assault. Friends, family, discussions during NSO and various outreach programs already offer students tips about relationships, partying, alcohol, consent, etc. I spoke to many of my friends, both male and female. They told me that most of these measures are common knowledge and that most people pick them up in the first few weeks of school. The SARA office and the WCC occupy a much different, and much more important niche. They represent organizations that seek to influence the public conscious about issues such as sexual assault, and are in the business of stigmatizing practices like victim-blaming. By purporting that some action is a preventative measure these organizations would be implying that sexual assault is preventable by the survivor. If they were to teach safety measures, then they’re essentially saying that two parties are at fault in assault cases, when it’s obvious that the perpetrator is solely responsible. Therefore, if they want to adhere to their ideological values, it would be irresponsible to offer safety tips.

However, I’d like to know what you think, namely, do these offices have a responsibility to support perceived safety measures? Do these safety measures qualify as preventative, and what are the consequences of that type of rhetoric?

Contact Chris Herries at herriesc@stanford.edu.

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My dog is a better person than me https://stanforddaily.com/2012/09/24/my-dog-is-a-better-person-than-me/ https://stanforddaily.com/2012/09/24/my-dog-is-a-better-person-than-me/#respond Tue, 25 Sep 2012 02:29:51 +0000 https://stanforddaily.com/?p=1071047 Now, I’m not just trying to make you envious of my epic pooch, I’m trying to emphasize a point about loyalty. We all value it.

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You could set your clock by Ginger’s nightly routine. The faithful golden retriever goes out every night at 10 o’clock sharp and takes five minutes to scan the border of our substantial property. She drives off any deer that linger near our apple trees or rabbits raiding the garden. She checks to make sure there are no trespassers and once amiably escorted a late-night jogger away from our driveway. Then, she comes in and follows as someone locks up the house for the night. If someone is staying up late to read or study, she sits at their feet until they’re safely seen to bed. Finally, with the house quiet, she’ll curl up and wait for morning. Ginger has been dutifully taking care of my family for 11 years now. She consoles us, greets us, warms us, forgives us, encourages us and, above all, loves us. When I was a child, my sister was hospitalized for depression. When my other sister began to cry, Ginger simply sat up next to her and nuzzled my sister’s neck as if to say, “I got you.” I am in debt to this dog’s compassion.

Now, I’m not just trying to make you envious of my epic pooch, I’m trying to emphasize a point about loyalty. We all value it. I’ve yet to meet a man who cherishes faithlessness in a friend. I still haven’t found a girl who’s fond of philanderers. Yet, defining what loyalty is, how it operates, why we value it and whether we practice it remains difficult. That’s where dogs come in. They seem to have a knack for a concept that eludes us. Using Ginger’s lessons, let me propose what loyalty should look like in a friendship; because we all need to wonder if we qualify as a loyal friend or not.

“First sac, then calc” was a famous line of the chess grandmaster Mikhail Tal. He meant that people should commit to a good idea and then find a way, any way to make it work. When a friend says his car broke down, offer help. Never mind that you don’t know exactly how to help; that can always be puzzled out. When a friend’s relative passes away show up at their doorstep and offer to help. Never mind that you’re not a therapist, just be a loyal friend. If your friend is in SIMPS, watch their shows because loyal friends support each other and, let’s face it, SIMPS is pretty darn awesome. Never mind that you have a problem set due the next day; taking an hour to show your dedication to someone is certainly worth losing sleep over. Essentially, I posit that a friend says “yes.” First be loyal, then be logistical.

One of my coaches uses the phrase “don’t be a victim.” According to him, victims show up everywhere with excuses and apologies. That’s not loyalty. If your friend is expecting you at seven, be there at seven. If you promised someone you’d help them make dinner, then help them make dinner. If you tell your girlfriend you love her, then love her. I think a big part of loyalty is keeping promises big and small. Make a promise, keep a promise.

Finally, I think being busy is a state of mind. It’s just prioritizing certain things, considering them more important than other things and sacrificing the less essential. Now classes, start-ups, jobs, homework, sports, clubs–these are all really important things.

They will never be as important as friendship.

Before you shoot, let me explain! None of those things are going to love you back. They’ll make you happy and satisfy a passion, but won’t replace the love and camaraderie that true friends share. Therefore, a loyal person makes time for friends, all other things aside. Friends are, in my opinion, one of the few things worth having in life.

Now, you can buy and sell my propositions, because if erring is human then I’m more human than most. But I beseech you–and this column will involve a lot of beseeching–to take time this week to do things with friends. Not just party with them, or study with them. Do something unique: Take a walk, climb a tree, play a sport, have a meaningful conversation. And the next time they call upon you for help, remember how important they are and stand up. Be loyal. Reciprocity has to start with someone. Why not you?

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