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Ayush Pandit
Do you love memes? Because I think life is a fat meme, and I love looking through its deep fried edges and top-text-bottom-text style center. Talk to me about literally anything, and feel free to hit me up with fresh memes, I'm always looking for new ones.

Unread copies of The Daily cited as fire hazard by Fire Marshal

SATIRE: While attempting to “lighten up” the dorm, stray sparks from a student accidentally lit a copy of The Daily on fire, starting a chain reaction that quickly threatened to claim the dorm, which has had two other fires in the past year.

Journey to the strip club

“IT’S NOTHING LIKE GTA!” My friend stumbled through the door to the pizza place, shaking his head and shivering. Behind him, two others followed with looks of stunned disbelief, astonishment and utter shock on their faces. “I can’t believe that happened. Oh god, it felt like forever, we must have spent an hour in there.”…

We survived a night at Green Library

It’s finals week. You’re grinding at Green Library, hoping to somehow cram all 10 weeks of Chem 31A into your mind and before you realize it, it’s 12:50 a.m. As the automated closing warnings play, you head to the front desk where someone “checks” your bag to make sure you didn’t steal the Magna Carta…

A virgin’s guide to SHPRC

If there’s one thing that the Titanic (both the historical event and DiCaprio’s clearly-there’s-enough-room-Rose version), “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “Moby Dick” have all taught me, it’s that shipwrecks are bad. There just isn’t a way to see a glass-half-full situation when your boat is half-full of water, and you’re rapidly sinking to your death…
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