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Jobberish: Never say never

As much as I find the various jobs I’ve suggested interesting, I know that none of them are right for me – well, with the exception of the boner one, perhaps. Still, the fact of the matter is, even with so many wonderful and sometimes bizarre careers out there, there’s a chance your dream job doesn’t exist…yet.

Jobberish: Back to the futurist

Most of us want to know what life has in store for us, and we’re not alone. Plenty of people dedicate their lives to knowing the future — psychics, fortune-tellers — but unfortunately (pun intended), most of these people can’t actually see into the future. That is, with one exception: the futurist, which will be this week’s column topic.

Jobberish: Picture perfect

Luckily, Google is working as quickly as possible to make sure we are never short in our supply of Brazilian women falling on their faces or German men crawling out of car trunks (true story) — they are now expanding Google Street View to cover more remote areas of the earth. Aside from providing us with the potential for more entertainment, this new initiative has also given us something almost as great — jobs.

Jobberish: Flavor of the week

Your life’s passion might be something that requires a college education, but it might not. You should pursue it regardless; as long as it makes you happy and pays the bills, it’s worth your time. If my hypocritical lecture didn’t work and you still want to do something with food that also validates all your hard work here at Stanford, I’ve got an idea: become a flavor chemist, also known as a flavorist. It’s the perfect job for those of you who are both foodies and chemists, and it’s this week’s topic.

Jobberish: Where the wild things were

Unfortunately, the way the message was presented was somewhat flawed — to raise awareness about the ecological impacts of various foods, the museum put out plates of shrimp cocktails and sashimi. Of course, this just made me hungry, and after leaving the museum — and I’m really ashamed to admit this — I went to a restaurant and ordered myself a shrimp cocktail. Oops. Fortunately, there is a silver lining to this story. My guilt has compelled me to dedicate this week’s column to the poor, delicious shrimp and all the other endangered animals by recommending that you pursue a career as a wildlife rehabilitator.

Jobberish: Play that funky music

I had never heard of music therapy until a few days ago, when a friend suggested it to me (for a column topic, not my personal use). As my friend and the Internet taught me, a music therapist functions somewhat like a regular therapist, but uses music in combination with traditional therapeutic techniques to help people with a variety of mental and physical health issues. Music therapists are more than just glorified versions of Pandora Radio — while playing music for patients is a small part of the job, most of the healing powers of music therapy come from assisting patients in creating music of their own.