Satire by Kirsten Mettler
Roble will be taking its winter ski trip to Honolulu, Hawaii, this February. The ski trip is a Stanford tradition where dorms, especially all-freshman dorms, take a winter weekend to go skiing and play in the snow. Roble, a four-class dorm, did not feel like conforming this year. RA Shannon Ronin ’20 explained the choice.
“Who wants to go somewhere cold?” Ronin asked. “I grew up in SoCal; Stanford is cold enough. Plus, it’s still a ski trip — just jet skis instead of snow ones.”
Roble residents are, understandably, very excited. With the University picking up most of the bill, students will be able to enjoy the warm Hawaiian air for only $15.
“$15 to go to Hawaii? I spent more than that on my Uber to the grocery store last week,” exclaimed Roble resident Ken Hanson ’21. “I can’t wait for this trip.”
Residents of other dorms are, understandably, jealous. While most dorms take a short road trip to Tahoe or Santa Cruz, Roble residents are traveling six hours by plane for their extravagant getaway. Many Roble residents are even getting exempt from midterms since the Hawaii trip is a University-sponsored event.
“I just don’t get it,” complained Donner resident Hannah Jane ’22. “Roble people don’t even make the trip to east campus. Why do they get to go to Hawaii?”
Next year, perhaps more dorms will follow Roble’s lead and head off to the tropics — but for now, most Stanford residents will just have to settle for Tahoe ski cabins.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Kirsten Mettler at kmettler ‘at’ stanford.edu.