Satire by Benjamin Midler
The latest season of the U.S. government is yet to conclude, but, after last week’s riveting impeachment trial, the show’s producers have already announced their intentions to renew the blockbuster TV hit for another season.
“Things weren’t looking good for most of the current season,” said executive producer Mike Onstitution. “The public did not respond well to some of the casting changes we made, and viewership dipped almost 60% at one point. Fortunately, those numbers have recovered, and we’re actually seeing the highest ratings in recent history at the moment.”
When asked to comment on why the U.S. government’s ratings have reached newfound heights, Mr. Onstitution gave credit to the season finale. “It’s the impeachment trial!” He exclaimed. “Everyone loves a good old fashioned legal slugfest, and even younger viewers are responding positively to the resurrection of old characters such as Alan Dershowitz and Ken Starr.”
Mr. Onstitution, when asked for details about the next season, said: “I do think that our viewers will be pleased. All I’ll say is that the next season will have everything you might hope for: forbidden romance, death and deceit.”
When pressed for further specifics, Mr. Onstitution let slip that the visible tension between Speaker Pelosi and President Trump during Tuesday’s State of the Union “seemed a little too convenient, don’t you think?”
Production for the 117th season is slated to begin over the next few months, with the customary season-opening swearing in of new cast members in January.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Benjamin Midler at bmidler ‘at’ stanford.edu.