Satire by Om Jahagirdar
This year, Stanford Academic Advising released data showing that nearly all of the incoming frosh class mentioned concern regarding imposter syndrome in their initial Letter of Introduction. Although this statistic was comforting for the vast majority of students, one found it alienating. We at The Stanford Daily are proud to present an anonymous interview with the sole person in the Class of 2023 without imposter syndrome.
The Stanford Daily (TSD): How do you feel about being the only person in your year that doesn’t have imposter syndrome?
Anonymous Frosh (AF): It’s very hard to adjust to life at Stanford when everybody else can bond over feeling like they’re out of place. I’m all alone … feeling like I belong. I feel immense peer pressure to not fit in.
TSD: Are you perhaps insecure about your accomplishments?
AF: No … and that’s the problem! Of course, most people cure a cancer or two in high school, but I wanted to do something truly innovative. After I attended a week-long summer camp on medicine before my freshman year of high school, I realized that cancer researchers were employing an overly restrictive approach. By using a broader perspective, I was able to work in a local lab the following summer to find a cure for death.
TSD: Are you insecure about your course load?
AF: Not really… I was shopping 50 units for the first 3 weeks and was planning on cutting down to 45, but I loved all 5 of my IntroSems, so I ended up enrolling in 48 units in total. Anyways, I’m taking the most units out of all of the frosh, so I’ve basically won academics at Stanford.
TSD: How are you feeling about your classes?
AF: I’m feeling pretty confident because all of my classes are pretty easy, even though they’re all graduate level. I knew the material so well on the first day that most of my professors made me a TA after the first day, and all of them let me lead the lectures by the end of the first week.
TSD: Are you a legacy student by chance?
AF: Actually, I’m probably the farthest thing possible from being a legacy. Although the public is told that Leland Stanford Jr. died of typhoid fever, there is a conspiracy that he died because my great-great-grandparents were forced to poison Leland’s food after losing a game of ‘what are the odds’ between the Stanford’s house staff. Except for me, nobody bearing my last name has ever been admitted to Stanford University. One might say the odds were stacked against me when it came to admissions.
After the interview, the student informed us that they were planning to transfer schools as soon as possible in order to attend a college where they wouldn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of feeling like they were an integral part of the community.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Contact Om Jahagirdar at ojahagir ‘at’ stanford.edu.