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Humans of Meyer Green


With the scent of sunblock in the air and your occasional duck in the fountain, spring has officially returned! This weather has made it practically impossible to stay indoors, bringing out a lot of people that you might not normally see around campus. There’s also no better place to observe all these interesting characters than at Meyer Green. It’s in this open green space that you’ll find students of every type make a quick appearance or, if they’re dedicated, spend a whole day out at. Here are the types of people you’ll see at Meyer Green:

The naturalist

You’ll always find the naturalist at Meyer Green dressed appropriately. With a pair of flip flops on their feet and flowers in their hair, they make Meyer Green complete. With a granola bar in hand, you’ll often find this individual coddled in the sun’s warmth, running their hands in the grass like it’s the hair of their significant other.

The couple

Cute date on a lawn? Maybe. Excessive PDA? Definitely. It’s not rare to find lovers feeding each other strawberries at Meyer Green as they picnic to everyone’s jealousy. Sadly, it’s also not rare to find them on top of one another while rolling down the grass as we singles judge silently.

The reader

The embodiment of intellectual vitality, this individual has carved time out of their day to read and read outside nonetheless. You’ll often find them on a bench or under a tree with shade so that they may read their book in the peace of the outdoors.

The napper

They told themselves they were going to do work, but in reality, they knew very well they were going to lie on their towel, look at the clouds and contemplate their life away into a deep slumber. The type of napper varies from an ever graceful presence to the snorer you seriously contemplated throwing a sandal at.

The CS bro who is “jealous of all these people”

They’ll walk by Meyer Green on their way to the Engineering Quad. They’ll also feel the warmth of the sunshine, but instead of joining the reader or the napper, they simply comment to their fellow CS bro that they’re “jealous of all these people” and say how they wish that they too could simply lie on the grass with no code to worry about.

The friend group

These kindred spirits will walk together, pick a spot to claim and blast music as they collectively tan and catch up. Everyone is a bit jealous of them, wishing they too could be a part of that friend group, but as they leave one by one, you begin to pity the poor soul who stays until the end.

The “This isn’t Green Library”

With a textbook and their trusty backpack on hand, this person is ready for business. Too bad Meyer Green isn’t the Business School. Hungry for a distraction, especially because their final destination is somewhere among the stacks, this person is looking for any (and I mean any) reason to not go to Meyer Green. They don’t want to study, especially not when the fountains and the sun are calling. They’ll find you sitting on the lawn, look you straight in the eyes and dare to comment that “this isn’t Green Library.” They’ll chuckle and sit beside you. You’ll glance at them, but deep down you’re happy they chose you to distract them, and you’ll vent about your problems to one another. They’ll never find their way to the stacks and it’ll show in their PWR paper.

The Grind writer

This person definitely has the weirdest reason for being there. You can find them at Meyer Green for “research purposes only.” In reality, they’re a combination of a bunch of the characters listed above, but they’re quirky enough to write an article about their favorite place on campus to nap.

There are many more characters who happen to camp out at Meyer Green. This is by no means a holistic list, but it is reason alone to explore Camp Stanford.

Contact Richard Coca at richcoca ‘at’

Richard Coca '22 is Managing Editor of Satire for Volume 257. A dark horse and a workhorse, Richard strives towards bettering himself and having fun on the way. He understands that life is too precious to take seriously all the time. He currently plans to major in human biology and maybe minor in Twitter. Contact him at richcoca 'at'