Constructing the memoir of your life can be a truly grueling process. The most crucial element to consider, of course, is the enticing title. The stakes are incredibly high — with the wrong label, your entire life could be inaccurately represented. For widespread applicability, I have laid out options for some niche lifestyles.
For the foodie:
- BuzzFeed, what kind of cheese am I?
- What to expect when you’re expecting a food baby
- DTF: Down to feast?
- I’m eating fries in my parked car
- I’m just here for the cake
- I almost just ate something healthy
- The art of consuming Domino’s pizza
- And then they gave me an oatmeal raisin cookie…
- Boba for the soul
- Coffee and carbs: A delicacy like no other
- How did I get food on my forehead, again?
- I put too much Kraft parmesan on my spaghetti
- Are you going to finish that?
For the risqué:
- My memoir
- I asked for a water cup and filled it with Coke
- “This is my face. I’m not mad”: The plight of RBF
- Nobody cares
- Is it better to roast or to toast?
- Sugar, spice and everything nice or sarcasm, Pepsi and everything sexy?
- Do I want bangs, or should we just talk about my feelings?
- Sorry, Mom.
- “I’m 29. I can finally play a high schooler on TV. Thank you, Jackson Stewart”: On starting my Disney career later in life
- I did a thing, and I’m not sorry
- Goal Digger
- I turned off my autocorrect, and I only journal in pen: A baddie’s guide to writing
- Trial and lots of error
For the hot mess:
- I never really know what’s going on
- I’m late, and I’m sweating
- Still in bed
- Call me again in 3-5 business days
- Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue
- “I think I just said the funniest thing ever”: The story of my delusional comedy career
- I haven’t changed my sheets in like a year.
- Floor-seat mentality with a nosebleed budget
- I wasn’t gonna cry in Starbucks though, yk?
- Do I look like an Android user?
- Rock my Crocs off
- “Sorry, my Uber is here”: A beginner’s guide to exiting swiftly from awkward situations
- Crap, I really need to finish my memoir
Okay, maybe these titles don’t reflect your life story in their simplicity, but hopefully they made you smile a bit.
For more stream of consciousness musings, contact Alanna Flores at alanna13 ‘at’ stanford.edu.