Asking me to pick my favorite quote is like asking a die-hard film enthusiast to pick their favorite movie. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever given the same answer to that question before. It changes with my mood, with the coming of a new day, perhaps with the alignment of the stars. I mean, even a dip in the temperature could probably send me from praising the wise words of James Baldwin to feeling inspired by Elle Woods or Hermione Granger.
Nonetheless, while recently browsing through empowering Pinterest boards for a bit of a morale-booster, (something I highly recommend to anyone in need of one), I stumbled upon a quote that has really stayed with me.
“The more you love your decisions, the less you need someone else to love them.”
Chills, am I right? That was an immediate screenshot.
In all seriousness, that is honestly something that I need to remind myself of on the daily. I mean, reassurance feels great. I frequently run to other people to get their input on decisions I want to make. It could be about something as simple as what I’m going to wear or as monumental as what school I’m going to go to. (Luckily I made the right choice.)
Often times, it’s not even that I’m actually stuck between two things or incapable of reaching a decision on my own. Sometimes I am 100 percent sure of what I want. And I go to other people just to hear them say that they agree with me, that I’m right, that I’m choosing what’s best and that if they were in my shoes, they would make the same decision as me. I love to be able to say, “That’s what I was thinking!” On the other hand, however, if they disagree, my spirits begin to sink, and the internal turmoil commences. And then I’ll probably just ask someone else and hope that they don’t disappoint me like the last person did.
But why does it matter? If I was so sure before, why would someone else’s opinion suddenly rock my world? I’m not sure. I mean, the obvious answer is that I probably wasn’t as sure of my decision as I thought I was. But seriously, why does it matter? Most of the time, the other person literally won’t be affected in any way by what I decide. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, that applies to virtually everything. I doubt that there’s a single thing that every person I know would agree on. So if I already know what I want, why even ask anyone else?
Well, those days are now behind me. I do need to learn to love my decisions — have the confidence in them that I clearly have never had. That means that I’m going to have to learn to stop running everything by my family and friends and to start trusting my gut instead.
Obviously I know that this isn’t going to work for everything, nor is this even something that really should be used for everything. Sometimes a second opinion is actually needed. But I also need to be more aware of the fact that I don’t need one when I’m only even asking for a second opinion so that they can hype me up in support of what I had already decided to do before even asking.
I invite anyone else who feels this way to try to go a week without giving in to the pesky desire for reassurance. Love your decisions. And you won’t need anyone else to love them.
My favorite quote will probably change come sunrise, but regardless, this one will always hold one of many places in my heart.
Contact Kassidy Kelley at kckelley ‘at’ stanford.edu.