Dear Hollywood, make better college movies. Well, actually, that should be “Dear Hollywood, make better movies, period,” but we’ll settle for baby steps. Why is it that so many movies about the fabled “Row” suck? Why does a movie like “National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze 2” exist? If I ruled the world…

 

But that’s not to say there aren’t some goodies. Allow me to wade through the Walmart clearance bins of crappy sorority horror movies and National Lampoon blah blah blahs to find you some Greek fare worth taking a look-see at. For those of you rushing and those of you pre-assigning to Synergy alike, here are some films to keep your spirits high as girls wander the Farm at odd hours of the night and future fraternity men do whatever it is they do at 103—oops, I mean Kappa Sig. Without further ado:

 

“Animal House”

Yeah, you knew this would be on here. I couldn’t help it. Still considered the gold standard for college movies, the John Belushi vehicle about a misfit frat taking on the administration still resonates with those crazy college kids…go figure.

 

“Revenge of the Nerds”

Like “Animal House,” this one also involves a renegade fraternity<\p>.<\p>.<\p>.<\p>a more awesomely dorky one. But don’t let the pocket protectors fool you. This 1980s cult comedy has plenty of R-rated humor and sexual angst. Yeah, you knew the latter was coming.

 

“Accepted”

I’m told this comedy starring the adorkably likable Justin Long and a more voluptuous Jonah Hill is actually pretty funny. After getting rejected by every college he applies to, a high school senior creates a fake university of (but of course) likable misfits. Sort of like Stanford, but the valiant young protagonist didn’t have to die first. (Thanks, Leland Jr.!)

 

“Old School”

If you like Will Ferrell and/or “Hangover” director Todd Phillips and their trademark humor, you’ll more or less enjoy this. While not consistently funny, this comedy about three buddies reliving their college years has its good moments, mostly thanks to Ferrell. Still, this is cramping my credibility…must find critically acclaimed drama…

 

“Love Story”

This classic 1970 film stars Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw as a wealthy Harvard student and a working classic music student, respectively, and follows their troubled romance. In the vein of “The Graduate,” this is by the far the most thoughtful and intelligent film here. Aw yeah (hand thrust).

 

“Legally Blonde”

It’s not the most inspired choice, I admit, but good sorority movies prove hard to come by. This Reese Witherspoon rom-com is still plenty charming. Runners-up (if you’re really in the mood for a real chick flick…like, with lots of chicks) “The House Bunny” and “Sydney White” are decent picks. Well, they’re really the only ones besides “Sorority Row” fare (starring Audrina Patridge; enough said). Seriously, this obsession with slashers let loose in sorority homes seems kind of unhealthy. And exploitative. But I wouldn’t mind if they weren’t so bad.

 

Hope you enjoy these! Now go and watch “Community” (NBC, Thursdays 8 p.m… secretly this list knows TV’s where it’s at).