In case you haven’t been paying attention, today’s date is Nov. 11, 2011 or, in other words, 11-11-11. It’s a super day for wishes, and Intermission hopes you take advantage of it. (Need a pick-up line tonight? “Hey, it’s 11-11-11 and you’re all I’m wishing for, baby.” You’re welcome.) As certified pop-culture connoisseurs, Intermission feels like we really know these celebrities and their personalities. Thus, we’ve taken the liberty of compiling an exclusive list of what they are most likely wishing for on this fine day.
Justin Bieber
Bieber is crossing his fingers and hoping that the paternity test he’ll take when he returns to the United States comes up negative. But realistically, if he doesn’t get the result he wants, he can always just sic his army of manic Beliebers on his alleged baby-mama Mariah Yeater. If you’re going down, might as well take her down with you, right? (Didn’t that already happen? Ay-yo!)
Kris Jenner
Jenner is wishing for something else to come along and keep her and her family (but, let’s be real, mostly her) in the spotlight–and in a hurry–because the news about Kim’s divorce will only keep them in the spotlight for so long. Those damn tabloid hounds–insatiable!
Dr. Conrad Murray
Murray wishes that he had had a better alibi when it came to the Michael Jackson trial. Intermission thinks he should be wishing he was less sleazy, especially after he refused to testify during his trial in order to cash in on his first televised interview about the experience. (MSNBC’s airing of his documentary–gross.)
Herman Cain
The Republican presidential candidate wishes that no more women would come forward with sexual assault allegations. On a side note, he’s also probably wishing Häagen-Dazs would start making some limited-edition black walnut ice cream again so he could console himself with a bowl.
George Papandreou
Man, everything in Greece kind of sucks right now, so almost anything he could get would be great. At least it’s not really his problem anymore since ol’ Pappy resigned as prime minister this week.