Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and Roxy’s already got a craving. But it’s not just turkey and cranberry sauce that have Roxy licking her lips, it’s the prospect of some of her favorite fall traditions–the Turkey Drop and encounters with exes.

Roxy knows that many of you have found yourself cuddling with that cutie down the hall who still has a boyfriend or girlfriend back home–you may call it “platonic,” but Roxy can assure you that it’s anything but. While Roxy likes her men hard, not hard to get, she was once a naïve freshman, too, and suggests you take heart. Thanksgiving will give you the best gift this side of Christmas (or Hanukkah…Roxy never discriminates). The Pilgrims may have been sexually repressed, but Roxy knows you won’t be come late November.

What’s so great about Thanksgiving, you might ask? Two words: Turkey Drop. For the uninitiated among you, the Turkey Drop refers to the inevitable demise of long-distance, high school relationships when a couple is reunited over Thanksgiving break. He may realize that Skype has totally masked that freshman 15. She may decide that the spark has fizzled. Either way, Roxy can always count on vulnerable, newly single freshman boys to keep her dead week alive and kicking.

There’s another reason Roxy likes to give…thanks every November upon her return home: ex sex. After Thanksgiving dinner, many people have to unbutton their pants, and Roxy is no exception–she just likes to get a little more out of the deal. Roxy usually prefers exploring new territory, but there are definite perks to people who have already been there and done that. And while no one wants a repeat of the awkward groping that was high school hookups, Roxy is a firm believer in the merits of a college education: between all the classes and p-sets, she’s managed to learn a thing or two, and believe her, so have her exes. Plus, someone has to put all that leftover Cool Whip to use…