Derek Cianfrance’s poignant “Blue Valentine” is a postmodern, grown-up love story that reminds us that sometimes, happily ever after is merely a means to an end. Featuring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams as the 20-something couple Dean and Cindy, the film juxtaposes the optimistic, early days of tenuous courtship with the decidedly unglamorous family life of years later, weaving together two narratives from markedly different times and spaces.

Shot in crisp, vibrant Super 16 mm as the young couple falls in love, and grainier Red One as their marriage slowly crumbles, the film achieves a dreamy quality as it jumps back and forth through time. And, at just under two hours, the slow yet steady pacing makes experiencing the evolution of the relationship as voyeuristic as watching a train get derailed in slow motion; deep down you know what’s coming, but you can’t quite believe it until it happens.

At the heart of “Blue Valentine” lies an eerie verisimilitude that makes it alternately compelling and yet difficult to watch. Because the movie was in development for nearly a decade, both Gosling and Williams had years to prepare for these roles, and when production finally began, Cianfrance pulled out all the stops in order to make it feel as authentic as possible. The majority of the film is unscripted, and much of it was shot in long, continuous takes, giving the actors a rare kind of freedom. This method yields a raw candidness, which perhaps is what struck a nerve with the MPAA, who initially stamped an NC-17 rating on it. But contrary to other recent films (read: “Love and Other Drugs”), nothing in “Blue Valentine” feels gratuitous or exploitative. In actuality, very little is shown, and what does get included only emphasizes how Dean and Cindy’s relationship changes.

Gosling gives a forceful performance as a man crazy in love, and particular scenes in “Blue Valentine” will make Nicholas Sparks fans reminisce over a popular 2004 romance drama that incidentally also co-starred a fair-skinned, doe-eyed blonde in the lead. As Dean, a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge suddenly takes a turn for the worse, much like a certain Ferris wheel ride from another film, and the scene in which Dean and Cindy consummate their relationship for the first time will probably also ring some bells. This is not to say that Cianfrance’s film is simply “The Notebook” redux (although as a friend of mine pointed out, a mash-up of the two would easily go viral on YouTube), but that Gosling’s portrayal merits the comparison.

Instead, it is Williams’ subtle presence as the enduring partner to Dean that makes the movie tick. We watch as Cindy dreams big, slogging through pre-med courses in college to become a doctor and talking with her grandmother about someday finding true love. We want her to be able to have it all – the career, the Prince Charming and the spark clearly missing from her own parents’ relationship, but instead her life gets interrupted. Flash forward to a dreary suburban home, a little girl and a less than perfect marriage; the bright young woman is gone, replaced with an aimless bore.

Cianfrance once said that if he had been able to make “Blue Valentine” at the time he actually conceived of the project, it probably would have ended up as something resembling “The Notebook”. But by waiting until after he had started his own family, it adopted an emotional maturity that sets it apart from the typical romantic fodder that litters the box office at this time of year. Bleak as Cianfrance’s vision may be, his gritty, documentary-style approach is nonetheless refreshing.