For all of you who don’t know, the Olympic Village makes the Playboy Mansion look like a SLE dorm on a Tuesday night. Combine two parts testosterone, one part competition, one part internationalism and one part youth, and you’ll get some, umm, action.

The stories from past Olympic Villages are legendary. In the 1988 Seoul Games, the night after the swimming events had ended, the British Olympic Association found so many used condoms on the roof of the British team’s housing unit, it sent out an order banning outdoor sex.

At the 2008 Games in Beijing, Olympic officials provided 100,000 condoms to the athletes at the Village, or about 10 per Olympian.

In Vancouver, U.S. snowboarder Scotty Lago was sent home from the Olympics due to the fallout from a photo of a girl biting into his gold medal placed conveniently near a certain male body part.

You get the idea.

Olympians put their lives on hold for years at a time. Early-morning workouts. Controlled diets. Grueling training sessions. When they finally have a few days to themselves, it is only natural that they are going to blow off some “steam.”

Where else do you see people pulling insane hours, dedicating themselves to one small field, and abusing their bodies for some higher goal? How about Stanford students during finals week?

Think about it. You’ve got three finals in three days. You park yourself in Green Library from sunrise to sunset, poring over your Math 51 book, learning everything there is to know about finding the null space of the matrix. You emerge for meals — normally nothing more than dining hall pizza and soft serve. You return to the library and dope yourself up with 5 Hour Energy and various other caffeine providers. Finally, after an all-nighter, you take your final and hope for the best.

It’s the Nerd Olympics.

No, I’m not expecting the roof of Wilbur Hall to be littered with used condoms come the last day of finals. This isn’t a state school, no matter how many nights you spend in Chi Theta Chi.

But it isn’t just during the last days of Finals Week where Stanford starts to resemble the Olympics.

Think back to the first day of freshman year. You approach your freshman dorm, and all your RAs start cheering your name. Opening Ceremonies?

Throughout your four years, President Hennessy, Vice Provost Bravman and Dean Julie constantly tell you how great you are and how high the expectations are for you. Constant media pressure?

You put your body through hell trying to finish a paper or study for a midterm. Intense training?

Maybe, just maybe, Stanford channels the inner Olympian in all of us. The idea isn’t as far-fetched as you may think. Two years ago in Beijing, current and former Stanford athletes collected 25 Olympic medals.

Stanford produced 48 Olympians in all for the last Summer Games. For comparison, Israel had 43 total. If Stanford were its own nation, it would have more sent more athletes to the Beijing Games than 145 other countries.

Clearly, something about the Stanford experience lends itself nicely to the Olympic experience. The support, expectations and dedication are ingrained into Stanford students. So is the familiarity of living and competing with people of other nationalities — in my residence, I counted 13 different ethnicities.

Is there a better place to prepare you for the demands and temptations of the Olympic Village than Stanford?

Hell, even Vaden Health Center hands out free condoms every quarter — about 10 per student.

Mike Lazarus probably just set the record for most condom references in a Daily sports column. Send congratulations to mlazarus “at” stanford.edu.