A camping trip to Yosemite turns disastrous as five friends get lost on the way. (MATT BERNSTEIN/The Stanford Daily) 59 thoughts you have while getting lost on the way to Yosemite May 16, 2017 0 Comments Share tweet Matt Bernstein By: Matt Bernstein Long car rides can suck. Long car rides can suck even more if you get lost. This past weekend, a bunch of Donner kids went up to Yosemite to go hiking. It’s about a four-hour drive and I was in a late car (i.e. we left at 5:30 p.m.) with four other friends. All was fine and dandy (being stuck in a moving metal vehicle for upwards of four hours also lends itself nicely to some solid bonding time)… until we got past the entrance to the park. What follows is a progression of my thoughts: We made it inside the park! We’re at the entrance! Yay! Only 10 minutes of this drive left. Whew. Wait, we just lost service. Waaaait is this the right direction? Did we miss a turn? Can someone check Google Maps? Wait crap there’s no service. Hahaha imagine if someone just started sprinting out of the woods right now (I just saw “Get Out,” I’m sorry) We are entirely alone on this road and it is Very Dark Wait there’s a car behind us This car is so close to us what the hell OH GOD THEY’RE TRYING TO RUN US OFF THE ROAD Are they going to kill us Who are they, what do they want, why are they doing this Can they at least turn their brights off before murdering us? Wait no they passed us That was aggressive Okay turn here Wait this road is blocked off Okay which brave soul is going to check and see if that chain on the gate is locked OH GOD SHE GOT OUT OF THE CAR Hope she doesn’t die Good luck What if a bear just came up and snatched her up right now What would we do? I mean I can drive.. but still, what a way to go Okay phew she survived I swear if we play “Good Morning, Baltimore” one more time I will scream Let’s go back to where we had service There is a poster for a missing man up here. I am terrified Okay update: we have a TWO AND A HALF HOUR DRIVE AHEAD OF US Oh good lord How Okay turning around. We got this. Gotta keep the driver awake. WE GOT THIS. Service! At long last! One bar! Wait it’s gone Oh no it’s back again Was that a corgi on the side of the road??? Why are all of these houses abandoned and/or haunted There was definitely somebody in that house. Sitting. Alone. Why are we playing these songs Why are we playing “High School Musical” What time is it [Summer time] NO. NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. It’s 1 a.m. We’ve been on the road for eight hours. Please help WAIT WE’RE HERE Wait… isn’t that the road we were on when we went through the other entrance? Are you telling me we were 15 minutes away if we’d just gone straight before Okay yes. Great. THE CAMPING GROUND SIGN. Why is there another damn car tailgating us WITH. THEIR. BRIGHTS. ON. Can’t you see we are terrified and delirious We are so close please don’t kill us now Okay they’re passing us again. Thanks. Omg we made it FINALLY YES Contact Matt Bernstein with better directions to camping grounds at mbernstein ‘at’ stanford.edu. Donner Freshman reflections listicle satire student life Yosemite 2017-05-16 Matt Bernstein May 16, 2017 0 Comments Share tweet Subscribe Click here to subscribe to our daily newsletter of top headlines.