Everywhere you look this time of the quarter, you’ll see seniors in suits scurrying on their way to info sessions and interviews. Now, Roxy’s never really been one for graduating (who would want to leave this college paradise of palm trees, hot TAs and dance floor makeouts?), but she knows some of you will be moving on come end of spring quarter – and she wants to make sure, in the search for that perfect job, you maximize your action as well as your assets. Here are Roxy’s suggestions for a new – and spicy – career.
Tech Company: You’ve surely heard about all the fancy amenities these swanky tech startups offer on their campuses… but all Roxy wants to know is, where’s the steam room? Take a quick break from coding the next big app to sneak away with your cute team member and work on making something else big.
Politics: Get yourself a job on the campaign trail in the coming midterm elections, and maybe you could score a role in the next shocking political scandal. Or at least get it on with some intern-on-intern action in the campaign bus. Stump speech? Roxy thinks it should be more like a hump speech…
Graduate School: For those humanities-inclined students considering another two to 10 years in academia, learn to love the tweed. If a particularly sexy bibliography makes your panties drop faster than England’s population during the bubonic plague, then higher education may be the place for you – but make sure to grab another overworked Ph.D. student to help you keep your eye on the ball(s) during those long, lonely nights in the library.
Journalism: Print media may be dying, but the sex life of journalists is still alive and well. Nothing breeds romance like countless nights spent together in the newsroom – bring an editor a cup of coffee (or seven Red Bulls), and you may get something more … special … in return. To the courageous few who venture out to cover breaking news, stop by the Daily building during your Stanford reunion and tell Roxy about your above-the-fold byline… nothing gets Roxy more excited below the fold.
Looking for an on-campus job? Roxy’s got one for you – it’s got full benefits and highly flexible hours (how does 10-12 pm on Friday and Saturday nights sound?) Let Roxy know at email@example.com.