Depression: It’s for everyone

I recently saw a commercial for Cymbalta, an antidepressant, which had some spot-on assertions about what depression feels like. Depression is painful, it’s anhedonic, it’s tiring and so on. All of these fairly characterize what depression is.

There was at least one aspect of the commercial, however, that did a great injustice. Every person portrayed as depressed was a young woman. There was not a single mentally ill man in the commercial.

Unfortunately, there exists a pervasive conception that depression is for women. I won’t get into a whole debate about whether all gender stereotypes are harmful, but it’s clear that certain ones are. The stigma surrounding male mental health issues does nobody any good, and more resources and attention need to be brought to finding and helping clinically depressed men.

In terms of resource allocation, critics will immediately point out that women have higher incidences of major depression, and this is true. However, there is surely underreporting among men because of the stigma associated with mental illness in male culture. Moreover, men are more likely to successfully commit suicide, which could indicate a lack of treatment. Contrary to popular belief, suicidal people will not always “find a way.” People who attempt suicide and fail rarely repeat the attempt. Identification, prevention and treatment can literally save a young man’s life.

Whatever the numbers, the stigma surrounding mental illness in male culture is real and troubling. In this column, the first of two, I’d like to address some reasons why depression in men may go unnoticed. In my next column, I’ll explore easy ways to address these issues.

It’s easy to dismiss the underreporting of depression in men as a cultural stress on masculinity and stoicism. I certainly think this is a factor. However, I think the biggest issue is that men may manifest the “symptoms” of depression differently from women, making depression harder to identify in men. I’ll provide a few examples of seemingly common male behaviors that could be signs of depression.

First off, we all have a conception of self-harm as something like cutting. Cutting is clear, visible and obviously abnormal. This makes depressed people who cut easier to identify, thereby making intervention easier.

However, there are many types of self-harm, and men often induce self-harm through less obvious means like substance abuse, dangerous physical acts and risky sex. These things are often chalked up to boys being boys, i.e., these unhealthy behaviors are just what young men do.     But say we had a young man who comes to college, ignores his classes and drinks himself into a stupor every night. Is he irresponsible or is he depressed? It’s a surprisingly common phenomenon that’s almost invariably chalked up to an irresponsible young man being unable to handle the independence of college. But maybe moving to college has been a triggering factor, leading him to be depressed. It’s hard to tell, but ignoring these behavioral changes could be ignoring a serious underlying issue.

Likewise, risky behaviors can manifest in something seemingly benign, like speeding in a car. Teenagers are supposed to be irresponsible drivers, right? I had a friend, however, who would speed constantly because he didn’t care if he crashed and died. Similarly, it’s not uncommon for a car crash to be a suicide attempt. Ultimately, risky behavior in men could be a manifestation of self-loathing and hopelessness associated with major depression or the mania associated with bipolar depression.

Another example may be the idea that men have fewer “body issues” than women – i.e., they’re supposedly more comfortable with their appearance. But a man’s insecurity with his body is quite common. He may become obsessed with exercise, diet and muscle growth.

I’ve provided these examples to show that the common conceptions of depression symptoms can blind us to people in need. Now, I’m not saying that someone who drinks, speeds or over-exercises is clinically depressed.

But I am saying that depression isn’t just young women cutting, sleeping excessively or losing interest in life. We should all be cognizant of the people around us and realize that we can’t truly know what they’re going through until we ask.

Look for Chris’ second column on depression after spring break. Until then, contact him at herriesc@stanford.edu.

  • long winded as predict/feared

    Chris, this is a great piece. I have several observations I want to make; apologies if (when) I get long-winded here.

    1. I’m glad you mentioned anhedonia. I think it’s the symptom of depression that is simultaneously the most debilitating and the least understood by those who haven’t experienced it. Nothing gives one pleasure. Not music, not video games, not drinking, not anything. One’s brain feels like it’s oat meal: beige and starchy and useless. One is in a fuzzy greasy prison. The only desire one feels, if any at all, is not so much a desire to die (which could be an exciting experience) but rather a desire to /be erased/ from existence.

    2. I want to establish something before I get to 3. Not everyone cares about other people. So to simplify things, we should restrict a discussion of how the community can care for a depressed guy to just those members of the community who care about other people in the first place. (Just look at Stanford Confessions to see the difference between people who care about others and people who don’t. Why do people say mean things about others? It doesn’t make sense! And yet people do!)

    3. Caring people reflexively care about and for depressed women. We want to hug them and make it all better. And we care about and /want/ to care for men, too, but we feel a little awkward about the second one. Why? I think one way to look at this is just to ask yourself this: How willing are you to lower your guard completely and let someone else rescue you? I speculate most caring women are in turn willing to be completely cared for by someone else. But I don’t think that’s true of caring men because of the “cultural image of masculinity”, as Chris phrases it. And we project our own preferences on others. The end result is that the image is reenforced.

    4. There may be a related issue. I think because of the culture in the first place, guys can go through life feeling like no one truly cares about them. Or, more precisely, a guy feels like he is cared about for what he /accomplishes/ rather than just for /being/ a kind person. Is that true for women? I sense it is not, but maybe I’m wrong. In any case, I think it can be hard for a guy to accept that someone else cares about him at a time when he’s unable to accomplish anything at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eric.farmz Eric Farmz

    If you want to view stigma, simply listen to your government officials dumping on mentally ill as gun wielding monsters out to kill everyone they see! It is unbelievable! They group everyone into one ugly group. There are many people who have Bipolar and Major Depression who have got their stigma under control, but are still put into the same group as the killer who kills kids for no reason. Why is there a stigma? Ask your congressman.

  • Chris

    It’s also interesting to note how the stats on gun deaths are portrayed. Roughly 30,000 people a year die of gun violence each year, two-thirds being suicide.

  • quomodo

    Hey Chris, great article! I just wanted to point out that it is quite possible as many men cut themselves as women (it’s hard to get accurate data when this sort of thing is self-reported), and even if more women do than men, there are still a significant number of men cutting. While there are definitely other ways to self-harm, as you point out, I think it’s still important to acknowledge men who are cutting. Stereotyping cutting as a “woman’s issue” could make it even more difficult for male cutters to seek help and perpetuate the stigma against them.

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