OPINIONS

Bikers!

As I was biking out of the quad around one on Wednesday, I saw a small accident. Some guy came careening out of the arcade and slammed into the back tire of a girl’s bike as she was legally entering the quad. Fortunately, no one was hurt and there was no damage to either bike, but I see this kind of garbage all too often. The fact is, you’re not supposed to bike in the arcades. If you do, at least you could keep it to a manageable speed and stop before encountering cross traffic. What would compel this idiot to cross traffic without looking from an unexpected angle is beyond me.

Attention all bad bikers on campus: I’m gettin’ real tired of your shit. Now, I’m not going to tell you to wear a helmet or stop at all the stop signs. That’d be impractical. But here’s my less-than-extensive list of how not to be a jackass biker:

1) Go the proper direction in the traffic circles. That means stay to the right. If you’re from Britain, or a select few former colonies, I’ll give you two free passes. Otherwise, keep to the right, especially during high traffic times. It’s hard enough to keep track of the bikers obeying convention without having to account for some moron who wants to save 10 meters on his trips.

2) Did you know that they make lights specifically for your handlebars? Crazy, I know — they’re relatively cheap too! If you value life and limb, get one for nighttime riding. People who ride bikes without lights pose a serious danger due to reduced visibility.

3) We all know that girl, with her earbuds in or cellphone on, meandering at two miles per hour down the center of the lane, showing a complete inability to bike a straight line. Don’t be that girl. The text can wait, as can the call, as can whatever song you’re listening to. Keep yours eyes, ears and mind on what’s happening.

4) Finally, nothing makes me lose the will to live quite like people who bike on sidewalks when there’s a perfectly good road neigh five feet away. I mean, how difficult is it to just ride on the road? Do they somehow feel safer on the sidewalk? Do they enjoy burdening pedestrians?

Quite frankly, I don’t want to know why people do the aforementioned asinine things. I don’t care. All I know is this shit needs to stop.

About Chris Herries

Chris Herries is a sophomore majoring in Latin. His interests include rugby, crossfit, weiqi, and public service. Please shoot him an email if you have an issues with his articles.
  • Justan other commy

    Maby there should be a tax on bikers. Or they should have mandated insurance to ensure safety and a high cost.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cherries1 Christopher Herries

    And harsher penalties for people who break the law! I like the way you think.

  • pol_incorrect

    I am with you. I like all your 4 points, especially point 4). A few weeks ago there was an incident of a student badly injured when he was hit by apparently another student who was sought in a “hit and run” investigation. As I said at the time, I think that unless the injured student died and the guy sought after for the “hit and run” ended being convicted and spending a great deal of time in jail nothing would change. And nothing will unless Stanford has its own Newtown tragedy caused by crazy bikers.

  • Justan other commy

    Learned from the best ;)

  • Dumb People

    Give tickets to people who go the wrong direction in a circle.
    I honestly think it’s a good idea. Do it.

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