Roxy Tech

Stanford is deep inside Silicon Valley, and Roxy (who generally prefers it when people are deep inside her) has learned a thing or two about technology during her time here, other than that teledildonics lecture in the virtual people class. Technology (when used properly) can be a great tool – not just for changing the world, but equally importantly, for getting people laid. In the spirit of information sharing and open communication, Roxy’s prepared some tips for using 21st-century tools to, ahem, get your silicon into her valley.

 

Texting

Roxy’s covered the art of booty texting before, but she’d like to remind everyone of one key point. While Roxy doesn’t always advocate subtlety, Roxy also doesn’t usually leave evidence of her indiscretions (sheets can be washed, cell phones probably shouldn’t be). At least early on in the texting conversation, Roxy recommends you keep your intentions close to the vest…once you meet up, you can remove said vest and, you know, all other clothing.

 

Pictures

Similar to but even more dangerous than texting is sending naked pictures. Unless you want to go the way of Roxy’s favoritely named politician (a certain Mr. Weiner), Roxy advises caution. Of course, you may have heard of Snapchat, since it’s been covered extensively by the media. The magic of Snapchat is that while you may have a number of pictures in which you are…uncovered extensively, you don’t have to fear they’ll get anywhere near the media, because the picture disappears in a matter of seconds. You might say Snapchat is the only time Roxy has any patience for something that stays up for fewer than 30 seconds.

 

Location tracking

They say knowledge is power (and Roxy loves having the power in her relationships), but sometimes knowledge is also just plain creepy. That’s the case with apps that allow you to see exactly where someone is. If you’re habitually taking note of someone’s location via Glassmap or Find My Friends, you’ve crossed the line into serious stalker territory – a path that is scarier than the one that leads to KA. Roxy recommends you avoid involving these tools in your pursuits entirely lest you end up in handcuffs (and not in a kinky way).

 

Technological Difficulties

Unfortunately, technology occasionally fails (Roxy’s met men who could last longer than her laptop battery), and when that happens, you have a few options. You can always try spitting some good, old-fashioned game. Like meeting someone who doesn’t hope to one day start a company, getting hit on in person can be a refreshing change. Of course, if you, like Roxy (and allegedly quite a few freshman girls), have something of a thing for RCCs, tech failure can be your perfect opportunity. “Excuse me, I just can’t seem to get my iPhone onto the Stanford network. Maybe I could get you off instead?”

 

Know any RCCs looking to hook up more than just cables? Send them Roxy’s way at Intermission@Stanforddaily.com. 

Advertisment ad adsense adlogger